How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Heidi LPC Your Own Question

Heidi LPC
Heidi LPC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 235
Experience:  Licensed Professional Counselor
65628425
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Heidi LPC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

im 40 years old, living back at home, have never been married

Customer Question

im 40 years old, living back at home, have never been married and have no children, i have a stressful job and although i have friends as such they are settled and married, i dont seem to be able to hold a relationship, i have problems loving/liking myself and never seem to be happy, i worry about the past and things i did, and have had a relationship with alcohol which can make me nasty at times, i cant seem to move on from my last relationship and worry about losing my mother all of the time she is 77 and im living back at home, ive turned into a bit of a recluse, and would love to turn my life around
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Heidi LPC replied 2 years ago.

Heidi LPC :

Good Morning... I hope to be of some assistance to you here today! Your question is one that is fairly common; an evaluation of your life at the midlife point, an analysis of where you've been and where you are going, and a crossroads in which you have to decide which path to take.

Heidi LPC :

I hear that you have some worries and stress, and some self-confidence issues, and this has probably affected your relationships. These are things that result from something called self-talk. We all talk to ourselves, in our minds, all day long. We can either be critics of ourselves... or our own biggest fans. We can be supportive of our own efforts, or we can tear ourselves down. We can think, "I am a failure" or "I am an imperfect human, just like all the rest; yet I refuse to be a victim of my own choices and will begin to look at all the things that I AM, rather than all the things I am yet to become." Turning our attention... sliding the screen in our mind to the next thought, re-phrasing things, re-framing our thoughts to a more positive description... these are the hands-on, necessary steps to starting to think and feel more positively about ourselves.

Heidi LPC :

People are attracted to positive energy, and generally more repelled by negativity and stress and worry. Working to eliminate the focus on the things you cannot control and focusing on what you can makes a person more attractive to others. It is a choice; a simple choice. Focus on what is good, both in thought and in speech... and you will see a difference. It takes practice, and you will backslide at times, but make this your primary goal to begin with.

Heidi LPC :

Next, start exercising, if you aren't now. The chemicals that get released, endorphins, when you work-out are stress-relieving... and create feelings of well-being in the body. And hugs work well, too!! Get as many as you can!!

Heidi LPC :

Finally, we cannot change anything about the past, nor the inevitabilities of the future. We can only live for today. Stay here in this moment. Absorb the view from where you are and show gratitude for all you DO have... not thinking ahead to what might happen tomorrow. Be here, now. If you want to change something, change it... take a new approach. But, as the saying goes, 'it is what it is', and life isn't always meant to be understood, but certainly enjoyed... as there are never any guarantees about tomorrow!

Heidi LPC :

As you are offline, I will await your reply or further questions! I hope you found my answers somewhat helpful, and I wish you a good day ahead!! :-)

Customer:

hello heidi,

Customer:

thank you for this, i have just seen this information so apologies for the delay in replying.

Heidi LPC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 235
Experience: Licensed Professional Counselor
Heidi LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Heidi LPC replied 2 years ago.
It is my pleasure; if you have any further questions or want to follow-up, this chat will remain in the "my questions" tab at the top of your screen so that you can access it, or me, again anytime! I wish you the very best as you set new goals for yourself and move forward!! :-)

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education