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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  PsyD, LPC, CHt
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My mother-in-law is a bully and a control freak. She despises

Customer Question

My mother-in-law is a bully and a control freak. She despises me and my other sister-in-law as her other son has cut her out of her life. She has blamed me for problems between herself and my husband and threw a fit and kicked us out of her house on my husbands birthday because my husband is finally having a relationship with his brother after 4 years of her and her daughter keeping them apart. She is toxic as is her daughter. They are both jealous hateful people who make life miserable and go out of their way to do so. My husband is a "fixer" and is always trying to make things okay at the expense of our family. I need them to butt out. What do I do?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 2 years ago.

Hi,

 

They've been verbally abusive to you and the way to have them butt out is to set your boundaries and be straight forward. Try not to feed into their hostility because they would view that as a power struggle when in fact this is you cutting off your contact with them.

 

Your husband would have to be supportive to you with this as you're his family now. How he decides to react to his parents is up to him. If you've already sent them emails, you've already expressed your desire to be left in peace. If they are the ones to initiate contact despite your wish, you're not obligated to accept it. Simply remind them that you do not see this being a healthy sort of interaction and that you don't want your kids to see an ugly side from their grandparents. If you do not believe that a compromise will be reached at any time, it would be pointless to expect anything otherwise from them.

If you absolutely must have to speak to them or your sister in law, remain cordial and keep your boundaries. Hopefully your husband had spoken to all of them even if he's a a fixer. Some facts are hard to ignore and this is such a case that needs his support of you and the children.

 

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