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Doctor Kevin
Doctor Kevin, Ph.D.
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1482
Experience:  25 years in private practice
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I have had an internet relationship with a woman who is most

Customer Question

I have had an internet relationship with a woman who is most definitely suffering from DID and I am her lifeline. More than that, I am seen as a father to her most prominent parts. I sent her a phone that she has explained somehow, but can only text when she sneaks away for a moment. The internet is gone. She has moved from AZ to OH where I am but also is with the family where the abuse and control is. I have an intimate understanding with her and a couple other women regarding this type of mental disorder. (Don't ask) She is in a situation where she is never left alone. She recently attempted suicide because we lost contact and thought I had left her and although she has to see a pdoc now, they only prescribe drugs that he just sells. He will not allow her counseling or let her see anyone alone. She sleeps on the basement floor. This story only scratches the surface. I need to know who I can call to help her. Nobody seems to care. Her life is in my hands. And she will die if someone doesn't help. I can't allow this.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Doctor Kevin replied 2 years ago.

Dr.Kappler :

thank you for choosing just answer. I might clarify what it is that you concerned about. Let me know if any this information is incorrect. You had contact with the woman over the Internet. In talking with you she convinced you that she has a multiple personality disorder. You may alter cell phone that you say"she has explained somehow that can only text when she sneaks away for a moment." Does this mean that she cannot use this as a telephone?

Dr.Kappler :

you say that you can no longer reach her on the Internet but you found out she's moved from Arizona to Ohio where according to you," I am but also is with the family where the abuse and control is." I'm having trouble understanding this sentence. Do you mean that you are also in Ohio and she is with a family that is abusive and controlling? you also say that you have had experience with other multiple personalities. You then describe the situation that she is living in which is never left alone but yet attempted suicide. How is that possible?

Dr.Kappler :

you mentioned that she has to see a military psychiatrist who"only prescribes drugs that he just sells" this is mean that he is a drug dealer?does this mean that he will be prescribing drugs for her?

Dr.Kappler :

you then say that he will not allow her to see a therapist. Why is that?does he just intend to medicate her?

Customer:

She cannot use it openly no. She is never alone and we mainly communicate now thru texting when she can get a moment of seclusion. She lives in fear. I don't know exactly how she is passing it off at the moment, but it is all we have right now. This story goes so very deep. I cannot even begin to explain most of the history leading up to it but right now it is simply getting authoritative help to her. She doesn't trust anyone to protect her if she runs. This would be her 5th suicide attempt since age 9 if all is true. Her father was the first culprit. He is supposedly a policeman in AZ.

Customer:

not military.

Customer:

she ran

Dr.Kappler :

lastly you say she sleeps on the basement floor and"this story only scratches the surface" what are you leaving out?is she being abused? Is she being imprisoned against her will?

Customer:

yes

Dr.Kappler :

why can't you go to the police?

Customer:

I have tried but she has not given me her real identity but i have been doing my own PI work and used a PI to do some further searches and i know where they live so I might be able to find out now

Customer:

I have tried my county sherrif

Dr.Kappler :

if she is being kidnapped, held against her will and being tortured this sounds like something the FBI would handle

Customer:

I tried them

Customer:

I dont have enough concrete info

Customer:

i guess

Customer:

very frustrating

Customer:

I just dont know what my course of action should be

Dr.Kappler :

I also had considerable experience working with dissociative disorders and as you well know they frequently did not tell the truth and often embellish the situation particularly if a more sociopathic personality has dominated the host body

Customer:

I am aware she might not be tellng me the whole truth but it has been very consistent up to now

Dr.Kappler :

you have very little to go on and don't even know her name. It is not surprising that with that much lack of information you're not being taken seriously by government agencies

Customer:

Im working on it

Customer:

assuming i find her identity

Customer:

who do I go to

Dr.Kappler :

if you had as much experience with dissociative disorders then you know full well that there are personalities that love to embellish and get other people involved in rescues

Customer:

sometimes

Customer:

I know about 4 different gasl all way different

Dr.Kappler :

you need to use your common sense and look at it from the perspective of a law suit listening to your presentation. You never met this woman you have found out her identity indirectly and you're not sure if she's telling the truth aside from the text messages you've received. It will be hard for law officer to take you seriously

Dr.Kappler :

I'm sorry that's not lawsuit its law officer

Customer:

Im not at the point i want to call anyone yet but I need to know what direction i should take once i have sufficient info to make any allegations

Customer:

especially if she is asking for me to do something

Customer:

law?

Customer:

mental health?

Dr.Kappler :

I understand your plight and wish I could help you more but I have to be realistic and explains you why you're not getting the proper attention from the authorities that could make a difference. With more solid evidence the FBI would be the agency that would handle an interstate kidnapping of an adult with mental illness.

Dr.Kappler :

If she has been abducted by someone in the police force you may try the police in Ohio however since this is an interstate kidnapping they may not have jurisdiction. That is why it would make more sense to talk to the feds.

Dr.Kappler :

Anyone in mental health is in no position to treat this person since she isn't there, she has given consent and you would look more mentally unstable if you presented this information to them

Customer:

It would not be a kidnapping. She has been with him for at least 3 years.

Customer:

I have to do more detective work or see if she is ready to tell me more

Customer:

the ppl she sees most assuredly do not have any idea she is MPD

Customer:

that is always kept secret

Dr.Kappler :

I have yet to see someone with a multiple personality able to keep their mental disorders secret. And I've been practicing for 30 years

Customer:

I lived with my GF for 11 years and only after experiencing it first hand with others was I able to see it after 15 years. She is now in counseling here with a psychiatrist and i am helping her to understand it.

Dr.Kappler :

I think you're right though you need more information before you can act . I would be glad to help you when you get more information that I think this is as far as you can go at this point. There is still a small possibility that some of his created this hoax just to see how far they can get you going. You must be aware that there is considerable public backlash towards even the concept of a multiple personality disorder and that includes the mental health professionals.

Customer:

tell me about it

Customer:

I will seek more info and I will be back

Customer:

ty

Dr.Kappler :

I have always found it fascinating that in cases of dissociative disorder all of my clients has said the original personality is dead. There are some practitioners who uses the criteria to determine whether or not someone is faking it

Dr.Kappler :

if you want to the question directed to me simply attach my name to it and I'll be glad to respond

Customer:

ok ty again

Dr.Kappler :

please remember to click the green accept button so that I may be paid.

Customer:

yes

Doctor Kevin, Ph.D.
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1482
Experience: 25 years in private practice
Doctor Kevin and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Doctor Kevin replied 2 years ago.
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Expert:  Doctor Kevin replied 2 years ago.
has my answer been helpful to you it would you use the service again?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hello Dr Kappler,

I have another question but about a different person. I will post it here. If I should send it some other way let me know.

I asked you a question about a woman I know online who I am quite sure has some type of disassociative disorder. I also mentioned I know a number of such women. 3 online and one personally. I am having a lot of trouble helping one of my other friends who is online.

At first I did not see her as DID in any way that I was familiar. She was depressed and suicidal but did not seem broken in that way. After 6 months of chatting, one of her others came to me and introduced herself. I am used to a weak child/guardian/dark one arrangement, but she was not like this. She is a 5 year old child who can no longer access her more adult parts. She has no guardian. The other one who talks to me is more like a spiritual/ enlightened adult but is having no success getting through to the child anymore. The child seems to exist in a bottomless hole with her darkness and fears, unable to see past that anymore. She wants to die.

This is the problem she is having. The two of us have figured this out together, but her family does not know what is really going on and they would not believe it if they were told. She is a 48 year old divorced mother of 3 now living with her elderly mom. She was very active in a great many things up until last summer when a few too many life pitfalls finally overcame her and she retreated and is now stuck being this 5 year old girl who calls me bro and cant handle anything in life at all. The family is totally fed up with her for not acting her age. They do not understand and I don't know what to do.

Her mother is elderly and ill. Also this child is suicidal. She has attempted before but I know the family does not take her absolute fear of life seriously and they certainly don't understand what has happened to her inside and she has no money or insurance now that she is alone and living with her mother.

She only speaks to me. Nobody in her family or friends circle even knows I exist. Even if they did, why would they listen to me? The name I have always used with her is only known to me even though I know her real name she insists I do not call her that.

The only reason she is still alive is because she has me to talk to.

I don't know what to do. I don't know who to call. I know what I'm talking about, but who would listen to me? I am also helping my ex girlfriend by literally going with her to her psychiatrist appointments and explaining in great detail what he would never figure out on his own and I'm still having problems getting through.

I live in Ohio but my friend is in Illinois, and from what she tells me the mental health system there is abysmal.

Help us
Expert:  Doctor Kevin replied 1 year ago.
although this is an additional question I will be glad to answer it to my best abilities. There are some similarities between your situation with this woman and your previous question. To begin with you have only limited contact with both of them. They're both going through horrendous personal situations in which thoughts of suicide are major question. You also have almost no way to determine where they are and who they are aside from the contact that you have with them. Your concern is certainly understandable however in this business we all realize the limits of our ability to help. Personally I follow a motto which says "never hang around with people crazier than you are unless you know what you are doing." You may feel that you are their only lifeline in the one person that is preventing them from getting worse but I see you as being in a very precarious situation in which you are not able to offer any support and will feel terrible if the situation does not turn out better.
The one thing I found most frustrating and dealing with most multiple personality disorders was a total lack of support from the medical community. It was like once one of them found out I was willing to listen they contacted the rest people in their community and soon I had 4 or 5 in my caseload. Like you I struggled with finding psychiatrist who is willing to provide medication for them. These are very difficult disorders to treat even if they are honest enough to fill out an application for treatment so that you have the name address and some proof that this is correct.
The only thing I can offer you are some support sites on the web the way to make sure you haven't already located them. You need to realize the limitations of your ability to provide help and not let the fact that you cannot provide the help that you would like to frustrate you as much as it has.
I hope this has been helpful and redefining your situation.

Great Service is my goal. If you feel you have gotten anything less let me know and I will discuss things further. I am always ready to provide more details, information or suggestions. . If the answer has given you the help you need, please remember to give a rating of 5 (Great Service) or 4 (Informative and helpful), or even 3 (Got the job done) button. This will make sure that I am credited for the answer and you are not charged anything more than the deposit you already made by pressing any of these buttons. If I can be of further help with any issue now or in the future, just put "For Dr. Kevin" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it.

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