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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3312
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker.
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My daughter (divorced) has 6 yr. old triplets. 2 boys/1 girl.

Resolved Question:

My daughter (divorced) has 6 yr. old triplets. 2 boys/1 girl. Mother thinks that girl resents Activeboy a bit (he is more active, just likes to play starwars etc and tends to influence Quietboy into his games) Quietboy is more like her and they get on well together. Ideal solution is to allow them time together. and remove Activeboy to another activity (at other friends house or??)

But, she thinks that Activeboy and sister should be put together so they can get used to dealing with each other, and then, occasionally allow Quietboy to spend time with sister and remove Activeboy.

However, I believe that it would be better, to give sister a break from Activeboy as soon as possible, then occasionally let her try and deal with him. I don't believe you can train or force people to get on with each other. She does.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 5 years ago.

CoachJenK :

I think it is a tough spot with triplets and it often ends up where tow are closer with each other and there is one that can be the odd man out.

CoachJenK :

you are also in a difficult position as these are your grandchildren but it is clear you and your daughter have different styles. I think what may be more important here is your relationship with your daughter and if this is straining your relationship at all.

Customer:

I agree with you, but just concerned that putting the opposites together might alienate them more. I thought if she indulged daughter a bit and let her spend time with favourite brother first, it might make her a bit more relaxed aand be less irritable, thus helping her mother deal with all the other normal problems. Why push her

CoachJenK :

I see that point of letting the natural things take its course, but if she sees it differently then what can you really do?

CoachJenK :

I have twins by the way...not that it is the same but it can be a little...meaning that when i see they are not getting on, we split them up and give them special time with each parent.

CoachJenK :

i think that is what you are advocating for in a way.

Customer:

I suppose so, maybe I see it as a bigger problem than it really is. I am hopeful that by mixing them around regularly in whatever arrangement is probably going to help them to get breaks.

CoachJenK :

and with 3 there will usually be a better pairing...it is hard for all 3 to blend. think about 3 friends...there is usually a stronger tie between two

Customer:

I suppose so, maybe I see it as a bigger problem than it really is. I am hopeful that by mixing them around regularly in whatever arrangement is probably going to help them to get breaks.

Customer:

You're right. They will probably work it out.

Customer:

thanks

CoachJenK :

and you are a good grandma....dont forget that piece

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