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Doctor Kevin
Doctor Kevin, Ph.D.
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1482
Experience:  25 years in private practice
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Anytime I am in a relationship and stress of that relationship

Customer Question

Anytime I am in a relationship and stress of that relationship kicks in, I develop a certain amount of depression and stress and start having recurrent migraines. These migraines are slowly taking away my quality of life. What should I do? I feel like I am inside a fire and can't see my way out!
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 2 years ago.

Rafael Morales Toia :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you.

Rafael Morales Toia :

It could be that sadness, further stress and their somatic expressions appear whenever you feel pushed by challenges or problems every relationship brings. People develop defenses to try to cope with further painful experiences and depression as well as migraines or any other somatic symptom could be used as a way to cope, unhealthy ones for sure but at least something to avoid further exposure.

Rafael Morales Toia :

These symptoms-mechanisms are fueled by feelings you have been holding in from previous experiences, thus the only way to break this circle is to work on such past issues-feelings, process the experiences, learning from them and allowing yourself to gradually develop refreshed trust and intimacy in present relationships.

Rafael Morales Toia :

No doubt psychotherapy is ideal tool for you to work on these areas. I recommend you to seriously consider professional support to take care of feelings from past and present challenges connected to them.

Customer :

Thank you. I will contact a mental health specialist first thing tomorrow morning to begin work of past issues affecting future relationships. Mistrust is definitely a biggie for me.

Customer :

Sincerely, Diane

Expert:  Doctor Kevin replied 2 years ago.
I am not sure if Rafael wants to continue in answering your question and if he does I will gladly opt out. However your question has been relisted and I would be glad to offer some additional suggestions.I agree that seeing a therapist would be a good idea to find out why you're getting depressed when you get involved with someone new. It is always important to see your psychological problems from the perspective of a trained and experienced therapist. as you get closer to someone it may trigger off certain concerns and worries you may have to psychological traumas in your past. Therapy is an excellent way of dealing with those problems and may help you realize more fully the positive aspects of your new relationship.
In addition my suggestion is to see a medical doctor as well about migraines and their treatment. Migraines are very different from psychosomatic headaches and there are medications which will help immensely reducing the physical pain they cause.

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