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Ask Rafael M.T.Therapist Your Own Question
Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3191
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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Hi Im 18 yrs old, living with both my perants at home alone

Customer Question

Hi I'm 18 yrs old, living with both my perants at home alone both my father & mother are sick my father is on dialysis & my mother had a stroke. I'm the youngest of 7 children! My question to is, my family doesn't let me speak they don't listen to what I say they shove me they don't really pay attention to m at all I hate being by family gatherings cuz I'm usually the quiet one & that's not my personality anyhow how can I get myself to be heard or to be listened to?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 4 years ago.

Rafael Morales Toia :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you.

Rafael Morales Toia :


JACUSTOMER-dqtpk88t- : Hi
JACUSTOMER-dqtpk88t- : Is there any way u can help me
Rafael Morales Toia :

You are a very young person facing a tough reality, with both parents ills and apparently responsibility to be there with them. Is this accurate?

Rafael Morales Toia :

There is no easy solution here. Your parents and family would not change their ways unless something dramatic happen s in their lives and they choose to work on it.

JACUSTOMER-dqtpk88t- : Actually my sister moved away from home cuz she didn't get along with my mother
JACUSTOMER-dqtpk88t- : So this is it u can't suggest me any ideas
Rafael Morales Toia :

But you are so young, need and deserve to be yourself and to have their respect, and that is something that takes time in scenarios like this, where parents are already blinded by personal, marital and family issues.

Rafael Morales Toia :

Any improvement here depends on the way you cope with it. They would not change but you need and deserve to feel better so it is more about you learning to cope with it as long as you stay there than expecting them to improve their chronic ways of treating you.

Rafael Morales Toia :

Based on this personal work you would set healthier and clearer boundaries in order not to allow mistreatment nor being pushed towards something you do not want. They cannot be changed but they cannot push you either if you know how to honor your own feelings, personality and choices.

Rafael Morales Toia :

Only you know what you can and happen to be willing to afford here. Becoming independent is something that would happen sooner or later, and you will be the one deciding that. If you find your parents to be abusive or neglectful, then I would recommend you focusing on setting boundaries and on moving away. But again this is a very personal decision you need to make while working on what you feel, value and expect from life, family, etc.

Hope you find the support you need.

JACUSTOMER-dqtpk88t- : How can I make them want to hear what I have to say?
Rafael Morales Toia :


Rafael Morales Toia :

You cannot make them want to hear, feel nor do anything they do not want to do, but you can take initiatives to promote their openness and empathy, respect and support as much as possible through taking whole responsibility of your own feelings, reactions, choices and actions. That way you would not continue to be strongly pushed to places where you do not want to go….

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