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Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5132
Experience:  Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology in private practice
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Have a grandson who is now 21 and had problems all his life.

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Have a grandson who is now 21 and had problems all his life. He has been put on medications after medications. He says they didn't help. Now he is refusing to take any meds. He doesn't have a job 0r any money. He is very depresssed and angry. He is now thinking of suicide as he feels there is no hope for him. He has no friends. he doesn't like where he is living with his Mom. This all started when he said his body is out of whack and he can't do the things he likes to do because of this. He brings this up about his body in the evenings. His mom has had him to Drs and they did xrays and could not find a reason for him to feel the way he does. We have been told there is nothing we can do till he tries to hurt himself or others. He gets very angry when you talk to him about taking his medication. Is there any kind of treatment to get him through, like would Hypnotism help or any medication that could be put in his food.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 2 years ago.

Hi! You know, to give you the best answer, I think I should ask you a few questions first that will help define the problem and the situation.


Before we discuss what might help, we need to know more about what's going on: what has he been diagnosed with?

What medications is he on? Are they helping?

Do you think the doctors' diagnosis/diagnoses are right?


Does he have any developmental issues? For example, does he have friends? Is he good socially with people?


Was there trauma or abuse in his childhood? What about alcohol or dysfunction in his family when you growing up?

What does he mean his body got out of whack? What happened?

Is he getting any psychotherapy?

Is he getting any treatment right now? If so, what type? How is it going?

If not, when was the last treatment? What type of treatment was it? Was it helpful?

Any extra information that will help, feel free to share.


Dr. Mark

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

He is Bi Polar and also was diagnosis withSchophrenia. He has been on Klopin 1mg tid as needed, Cymbalta 30 mg daily and Lamictal 75mg daily. But now he refuses to take any and he has been off for 10 days or more. They helped some but not that much..

Yes I do think the diagnosis is right.He has no friends his age and does not do to well socially. No trauma or abuse. He does not know who is father is. Mom has raised him and his grandpa and I help.

He was working and had to help put carts in. He said he felt like he twisted his back and hen he had worked previous ly and had a stock cart run over his foot. He say his legs are out of line and this causes his whole body not to do what he wants to do and now this feeling is going up to his chest and he feels like he can't breather and has ringing in his ears.

He was seeing a therapist and also a psychiatrist. Last time he seen the psychiatrist he put him on Saphris 5 mg bid. He says he tell them what they want to hear but not what he tells us. He will not take the Saphris or any meds

He talks about suicide and the last time he did this we took him to ER and they put him in a treatment facility for two days and let him go This was a month ago.He doesn't have any money and his mom doesn't make that much so we have been limited on what we can do.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Did you get my reply
Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 2 years ago.

Thank you for the added information. It helps a lot. I believe I can now be of help with this issue.



First, let me say I was worried that the schizophrenia would be in the diagnoses. I can imagine how frustrating and worrisome this situation must be for you. On the one hand your grandson is an adult and he legally has responsibility to care for himself and the right to refuse treatment until he does something that justifies forcing treatment. But on the other hand you are clearly very loving and caring and you know he needs help.



He is most likely going to continue resisting allowing you to talk to his doctors so that you can influence the treatment. But it is important for you to not become adversarial about this. To have him feel that you are on his side. Why?

Because taking his meds, staying true to the treatment, and staying stable, is his lesson to be learned and he will not learn it from being lectured to about it or have his errors pointed out. He will become defensive. So it is vital for you not to take your grandson's situation personally and to always make him feel as if he is in charge of himself. This is your best chance, even if it is not such a big one, of getting through to him.



One of the problems here is that with many schizophrenia disorders sufferers and some bipolar disorder sufferers, manipulating the situation to avoid medication or treatment in general is part of the disorder. It is very pernicious and very difficult to treat. I would like to recommend to you the work of Dr. Xavier Amador. I think that in this area of treatment resistance he has been invaluable to all of us working with schizophrenia. I know some people don't go for his style, but I have found it very valuable and I think you will see its value as well. His whole approach is to find the way to make treatment a win-win situation. Because for your son, treatment is only for others' sakes: family, doctors, etc. Not for himself. The meds probably cause whole sorts of side effects he doesn't like. And this is going to be true of any meds the doctors come up with. Because resistance is often part of the illness and all meds have side effects.

So this approach can help you very much. But not only you personally, but the whole family. Here are his two most known books:

I am Not Sick, I Don't Need Help. This is the book that made Dr. Amador famous. It details a bit the story of his brother, who will remind of you of Leo probably in some aspects. Amazon page for it:

http://www.amazon.com/someone-mental-illness-treatment-Anniversary/dp/0967718953/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1289946492&sr=1-3

The other book is I'm Right You're Wrong, Now what? Break the Impasse and Get What You Need. Amazon page:

http://www.amazon.com/Right-Youre-Wrong-Now-What/dp/B001Q9E9OC/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1289946492&sr=1-1

So, read it and digest the idea and then see if you can spread the approach slowly among the family. I wish you the very best!

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Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5132
Experience: Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology in private practice
Dr. Mark and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
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  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
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