thank you for choosing just answer.you sound like know your wife very well and are concern that without the third person to mediate you will be at the mercy of her poor judgment.
people with borderline personality disorders can be very intimidating especially when they are feeling abandoned. They could easily fall into a rage that is difficult to negotiate
when you say you want to do right by your children what exactly does that mean for you?
I take it she has caused you such significant financial ruin that you have had declare bankruptcy and do not want to be in that same situation again
I see that you are standing by so I will await your response
Here is an excellent resource web site on dealing with a borderline in your family: www.bpdfamily.com
I felt a mediator will be able to negotiate with someone who is unwilling to meet with them. In most states the nine-year-old will have some say in custody issues and the 15-year-old should be asked what their preferences is. You might want to consult with a family law attorney to draft up a proposal for custody to show her. If you leave a copy with her you may be able to reread it and realized that is sensible
your next question about her being able to read this post is that she cannot since I have asked to only you and I have access to this. There is a moderator who is available should there be a problem between us.
Her statement of getting everything are far-fetched. Your attorney will be able to give you a definite answer. The state that I reside all of the assets are usually split in half.
As to the issue of her daughter an attorney will help you use that information to the best of your advantage. In most states if a parent has a child and there is no visitation from the other parent is considered abandonment and that parent loses their parental rights. Issues around child support are much more legal and psychological and an attorney will give you a good answer.
There are two important thing to keep in mind. The first is that you should have a reasonable proposal for her so that your bottom line is clearly stated. This avoids the emotional storm that results from her trying to gain control of the situation. Unfortunately borderline personality disorders sometimes perform extremely well in court and can be very persuasive. It would be a good idea see if this can all be decided upon without having to do battle in courtroom
I also have some general advice about coping strategies for dealing with borderline women which I would be glad to share with you. Unfortunately this website is not set up for telephone, safe
Sorry that is telephone conversation
.I agree that paying for two attorneys would be very costly. Some states allow one attorney to handle both sides of the divorce this may save you a considerable amount of money. As to threatening her to expose her behaviors or past you will find that she will retaliate rather than listen. This generally accepted escalation of threats until one person decide they've had enough and disengages.
You must remember that a borderline works extremely well if there is structure provided them. The core group a custody battle an argument with a known quantity is their cup of tea. Ambiguity silence and unstructured situation makes them very disorganized and chaotic. This is one advantage you have over this disorder since she has no idea about this.
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