Thank you for your question. I can see how difficult your current situation must be. What keeps you from divorcing your husband? Are you currently happy? What is it about your new found religion that threatens your husband?
I do not wish to divorce my husband. God does not like divorce. The evil one prefers it to being happy.
I am not happy with the way he treats me. My husband has admitted he is jealous of my joy in knowing Christ, but he does not want to understand it or be involved in it in any way. He pouts when I attend church.
Do you know why he is opposed to it?
It is not his religion, although he does not practice his religion either. I was in the same religion with him, but he never wanted to be there unless I forced him. I stopped asking him to attend his own religion. I went alone. Then I found something stronger and switched churches.
I see...why do you think your husband hasn't pursued a divorce at this point?
He has decided this week that I need to find a job to support myself (age 63) and that we need to sell our condo and find me a cheaper place to live, so I can afford to live without him helping me. He has looked at property in Florida already. I live in N.E.
So he is ready to separate, possibly divorce, at this point
Yes, but he doesn't want the guilt of just walking out, so he is making demands.
Demands such as finding a job and needed to sell the condo. Any other demands?
Ideally, what does the future look like for you?
What is he upset set?
Well, I'm no young chick. I have not worked in my field for 25 years. No real chance of finding a job there. I plan to take a 7 mo course to give me a diploma in a related field and hope for the best in getting a paying job to support myself. Or I take a min. wage job and live in subsidized housing with food stamps and federal assistance. Not desirable!
What is your husband upset about?
Other than the religion, what has changed?
He says I changed and we have nothing in common.
How have you changed?
I am speaking up for myself in regards XXXXX XXXXX I want to do in my life. He would rather make all the decisions and I am supposed to agree.
You have become more assertive than before and he does not like that. Is that correct?
Now that you are assertive, do you feel that he is pulling you down?
He argues with me about making a meal for someone in need.(just out of the hospital) "I don't want you feeding those people. He is opposed to donating a weekly offering in church. I volunteered to help(for a week in Texas) with reconstruction of a home after a fire. He said I was having too much fun. I was tired, but happy to give and they were grateful for our help.
He seems very controlling
was he like this before?
I agree with that. I was young when we got married and I didn't notice until something that ment a lot to me was involved. He has been very controlling with our 2 sons. I never liked that, but he was doing the same with me and I never realized it.
Do you feel getting a divorce (although against your religion) will be the best thing for you?
If he leaves, then I will not be at fault with God if I have done everything possible to avoid it. I feel that I will have a better life without him trying to control my every decision.
If you leave, I believe you are not at fault with God either since God wants you to do good. How can you do good if you are prevented from doing good
Yes, God wants me to do his work. He would like marriages to stay together as well. If there is any chance that God will work on his heart, I would not leave. I will follow HIM.( Jesus) If that does not work for my husband, then leaving is the best option.
Do you have any other questions?
No. Thank you and may God bless your knowledge and understanding