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Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you.
I can see expert NormanD, assisted you with this situation but since you got back to me just wanted to say that I agree with Mr. Norman D.
I do think there is not much you could do about his mother, but to be cautious and consistent taking good care of yourself, avoiding destructive confrontations with her, using the understanding you have gotten about her and her ways and issues from the past, and focusing on how to promote closeness and improvement in your relationship with Chris.
You have already done what was in your hands to clarify things with your son, now just need to wait and be more patient and supportive with yourself, learning from past mistakes so for them not to happen again. Please be very cautious about the way you show your love and support for your son. You said he was already meeting his girlfriend on a regular basis abut haven’t seen you for a while, so there was no real reason for you to allow or support such situation. It shows there is codependency undermining your affection so the relationship between you, and for sure he is not learning how to be sensitive nor caring about your feelings and needs, neither about your relationship.
This can and should change and you are the one who needs to make adjustments in order to promote his grow as a more mature and caring man.
I am hopeful you would grow and become wiser and stronger from this painful experience.
Sorry, I am not requesting payment for my feedback, just wanted to respond since you addressed me in your response. Just wanted to add feedback to what other expert already provided. Thank you for your understanding and sorry for any confusion on this regard.