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Norman M.
Norman M., Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2568
Experience:  ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.
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i feel like i am losing my mind, my identity, everything. i am getting influened by anythi

Resolved Question:

i feel like i am losing my mind, my identity, everything. i am getting influened by anything and everything.. m bein indecisive.. not able 2 support by ownself. not being happy from inside. feels like i am being forced to live, hence i end up taking life as an obligation. i feel so restricted, so blocked. its suffocating. my heart is paining now. i cant bear this pain anymore. m unable to remembr the good thngs life have me instead my miknd keeps wandering about the negative things all the time. m unable 2 harness and control my mind.. hence i build up negative opinions about people..even my colleagues! who would have been frnds had i not suffered from this mental illness. PLZZ GIVE ME A SUGGESTION. WHAT SHOULD I DO TO GET BACK MY OWNSELF??? here i would like to mention that 5 yrs back i used to be a bubbly kinda girl..i enjoyed life..but then i got involved wd a dominating negatve guy.b4 being with people and was happy and satisfied. nw m totally the opposite. m scared bein wid people
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Norman M. replied 4 years ago.

Part of the problem is that you may be suffering from mixed anxiety and depression - depression is causing you to feel bad, and the other part is that your negative thinking about your life situation is just adding to that.

Your previous bad experience has clearly had a sever impact on you, and I think you are going to need professional help to get over this.

Both these things can be dealt with by a combination of proper medication and a course of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It is a form of therapy that addresses problems in a direct and targeted way and is brief compared with most other therapies.

The first thing you need to do is to see your Doctor – he will give you a full diagnosis and if appropriate, start your on a suitable anti-depressant medication. He will also want to rule out any physical cause of what you is experiencing.

Depression is seen as a chemical imbalance in the brain, just as diabetes is a chemical imbalance in the body. Diabetics take medication to stay well, why shouldn’t you?

Don’t be afraid of taking medication – it could really help turn your whole life around

Two important issues about this - when you is on medication, you must take it at the correct dose and as prescribed. It is no use missing doses or messing around with the dose.

Secondly, you should know that anti-depressants can take up to 8 weeks from the start of therapy before they begin to show beneficial effects, so it's no use quitting after two weeks.

I mentioned CBT - is based on the fact that what we think in any given situation generates beliefs about, and reactions to that situation, and also cause the behaviour and feelings which flow from those beliefs and reactions.

These ‘automatic thoughts’ are so fast that generally, we are unaware that we have even had them. We call them ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) for short.

If the pattern of thinking we use, or our beliefs about our situation are even slightly distorted,

the resulting emotions and actions that flow from them can be extremely negative and unhelpful. The object of CBT is to identify these ‘automatic thoughts’ then to re-adjust our thoughts and beliefs so that they are entirely realistic and correspond to the realities of our lives, and that therefore, the resulting emotions, feelings and actions we have will be more useful and helpful.

Cognitive therapists do not usually interpret or seek for unconscious motivations but bring cognitions and beliefs into the current focus of attention and through guided discovery encourage clients to gently re-evaluate their thinking.

Therapy is not seen as something “done to” the client. CBT is not about trying to prove a client wrong and the therapist right, or getting into unhelpful debates. Through collaboration, questioning and re-evaluating their views, clients come to see for themselves that there are alternatives and that they can change.

Clients try things out in between therapy sessions, putting what has been learned into practice, learning how therapy translates into real life improvement.

Please visit this website for much more detailed information on CBT:

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfoforall/treatments/cbt.aspx

If you cannot afford to see a therapist, there are good free CBT based self-help resources here:

http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/cbtstep1.htm

Make the first step NOW – get an appointment with your Doc, and you can start to get better.

You’ll also find some very good help here:

http://www.depression.com/

Norman M. and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you