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Dr. L
Dr. L, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist
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if a 6 year old boy and an 8 year old girl are found naked and she is on top of him. Is

Resolved Question:

if a 6 year old boy and an 8 year old girl are found naked and she is on top of him.

Is he a predator is he had oral sex performed on him by a 6 year old cousin the previous summer?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. L replied 2 years ago.

Dr. Levang :

Hello,

Dr. Levang :

I would like to help you with your question.

Dr. Levang :

This is a rather disturbing scenario. At age 6 and 8 these are mere children and they need help understanding these behaviors in a way that does not shame, guilt, or cause them emotional pain.

Dr. Levang :

This, of course, is inappropriate behavior.

Dr. Levang :

If the 6 year old was a victim of an earlier incident then we must extend compassion and understanding to him. It is harsh to label him as a predator as at his age he truly does not understand what he is doing. However, he does need help and the sooner he gets it the better!

Dr. Levang :

I would recommend that he see a child psychologist. Preferably one who has worked with such issues.

Dr. Levang :

What has happened for this child, is that a "door" to sexuality has been opened and depending on what was told to him about the earlier incident, he may not fully understand what all this means. The same thing is true of the 8 year old...a door has been opened and it needs to be carefully shut.

Dr. Levang :

The way to approach this with each child would be to gently and lovingly ask them to say what happened. And...especially...to say how they felt about it. Were they scared? Did they see this as some sort of game?

Dr. Levang :

Then..gently explain that this is adult behavior and that as a child, this is not appropriate...that no one touches our bodies...and that we do not show them to any one either (except of course the doctor or mom and dad when it is appropriate).

Dr. Levang :

It is critical that there be no shame, no blame, no harshness, not punishment. This should be a short chat. Then you drop it. You do not want to draw attention to this or make it a bigger deal that it was.

Dr. Levang :

If the mother refuses to get help for her child, there is always the options of calling social services and reporting the incident. That is a rather tough stand to take..but this child needs help. If his parents refuse to supply that help...the child needs protection.

Dr. Levang :

I see you are offline. If you would like to chat, just respond. I will be notified when you come back on line.

Dr. Levang :

Again, I am sorry that this incident occurred.

Customer:

Thank you for your response, I never thought about CPS. The young boy knows it's inappropriate but 8 months later he solicited oral sex from an 11 year old boy. The brother of the 11 year old told and adult. It seems that both sets of parents are taking this too lightly. Thanks again for the advice.

Dr. L, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1166
Experience: Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist
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