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Dr-A-Greene
Dr-A-Greene, Doctor
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 190
Experience:  Clinical and Forensic Psychologist
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hey What can i do im 18 female and very self conscious about

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hey What can i do i'm 18 female and very self conscious about my weight and everything so i don't get out much, but the other day i went for a short, short walk around the block and i couldn't help but feel like people were staring/ making comments about me i was alone and felt terrified and at one stage i thought i was gonna get abducted please help wht am i feeling like this?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr-A-Greene replied 2 years ago.

Dr-A-Greene :

Hi - I'd like to be of help, if you could possibly answer some questions for me?

Dr-A-Greene :

First off, you said you don't get out much. What is your typical week like (work, school, etc)?

Customer:

thanks for taking the time. well all i go out is on tues , thurs, sat and sun for ice skating lessons then i will come straight home, i work where i skate on the sat and the sun, and don't got to school anymore (dropped out)

Dr-A-Greene :

Okay. So you have a parttime job and something that it sounds like you're pretty involved in. It's not that you don't get out at all. How do you feel at the rink? Also, what is your social like like overall? (I'm just trying to get a bit of history to make sure I'm on the right track)

Customer:

i feel quite uncomfortable half the time at the rink i'm think i come across as a b**** to people who don't know me, social overall i never go out the only friends i really have are at the rink other than that i never "hang" with people

Dr-A-Greene :

Okay. Do you have a small circle of friends because that's the way you like it or would you rather be more social that you are (i.e. do you like being more reclusive or do you wish for more contact)?

Customer:

i like being reclusive but at times some of those rink friends will annoy me and then there is one less (we fight)

Dr-A-Greene :

Alright - so you're not distressed about it too much. That's fine. :) So, when you went for this walk, was this the first time that that fear gripped you like that? Did you feel that it was specific to the situation?

Customer:

yeah, well lately i've become very weight aware, one spot when i was almost back home a car pulled up on the opposite side of the road and the driver and i made eye contact and thats where the fear really hit. but also the day before i was in like those block group of public toliets (they have at some supermarkets ) and a thought came over me how easy it would be for someone to come in and just rape a person in there as they have no cameras i think that has something to do with how i've felt lately

Dr-A-Greene :

It might have something to do with that, yes. Being self-conscious could definitely be part of it - being aware of your physical being in the space of other people. Before we go on - has anything bad ever happened to you in this context (abuse)?

Customer:

well my father use to be abusive but never towards me but to my brother (i always got to watch) also at school i was ALWAYS bullied they are i think about it after the first time i got bulied i became scared to go out at night even scared of outside my own bedroom window (even now) because there might be someone out there i don't know going to kill me or something but i've felt scared of the dark for as long as i can remember

Dr-A-Greene :

Alright - so there's some bullying there - of your brother and of you at school. This is probably setting the stage a bit for you being more self-conscious than some people might be about similar things. This is also setting you up to avoid these situations, which makes you more fearful, which makes you go out less, and round and round we go! This is how specific phobias get started. There is an initial fear of something (which is rational) because it started due to a real threat (the bullying) - but after time, it starts to snowball. Does this sound accurate?

Customer:

it sounds very accurate

Dr-A-Greene :

Specific phobias can take on a life of their own if they aren't addressed in the beginning - which is what we definitely don't want! There are several things you can do to combat it: self-help, talk therapy with a counselor, or even anti-depressants for some people. Basically it just sounds like you're developing a noncomplex specific social phobia. This is something that any therapist would be equipped to handle. What are your thoughts? You still doing okay with this info?

Customer:

but why has it just increased now? i've always felt alittle uncomfortable but now it's got worse and the only thing i've really done is gone on a diet that can't really change something so dramatically can it? oh i'm doing great with the info

Dr-A-Greene :

Oh gosh, there are several possibilities - one could be hormones. Women, in particular, change a lot in their teens (mine were awful!!) - our hormones fluctuate and the anxiety goes with it. Diet can also play a part in that it changes our chemistry a little (hunger can do crazy things). But mostly, I think it's just developing over time and you're beginning to be more aware of it.

Customer:

ahhh k, well i think thats all i had on my mind, thank you so much for listening and what do i do now? press accept? (first time :) )

Dr-A-Greene :

Yes, if you feel like it has helped. :) - I'm so glad you taking proactive steps to help yourself before it gets too bad. I think you're gonna be just fine.

Dr-A-Greene :

Take good care - I'm wishing you the best!

Customer:

thanks you too :)

Dr-A-Greene, Doctor
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 190
Experience: Clinical and Forensic Psychologist
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