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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I accidently walked in on my 13 year old son masturbating to

Customer Question

I accidently walked in on my 13 year old son masturbating to porn on his Blackberry. I don't want to give him an unnatural complex about his sexuality, but I am afraid the content he was viewing might be too much. I do not want him to get addicted to porn or have to rely on it for sexual gratification...what do I do? I apologized to him for walking in on him, and later told him that I was really sorry and that must have been really embarrassing and explained that real sexual experiences are rarely like those he is viewing on these websites. I don't want to make a really big deal out of this if it isn't one, and I don't want to scar him for life about this either. Help!
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

Your son is a normal boy, and will not be scarred, unless you try to send him to a counselor or make more out of this than it really is. All 13 year old boys masturbate, and if they get a visual aid (porn) they will use it.

It is the married men who masturbate to porn that destroy relationships.

You responded correctly, according to what you recounted, and couldn't have done better. However, you must drop this and forget about it and he will too.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I am glad to hear that, thank you so much. I told you exactly what had happened so I am relieved. On another note, I am a single mom and my son does not want to have "those" conversations with me, which I don't blame him a bit, who would want to talk to their Mom about sex??? That was the main reason I wanted to find a counselor (he actually suggested it to me before I walked in on him)to give him a "safe" place to talk to another man about his growing up and experiences he is having during this phase. Is that a bad idea?
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Dear friend,

You are a good mom. It makes it tough when you are single.

Seeing a male counselor to help him have a male figure in his life with whom he feels safe. Since he suggested it, you need to find someone who you and he think is a caring and intelligent person.

I also recommend a book for him that you can get at www.amazon.com and elsewhere. It is:

Sex: A Book for Teens: An Uncensored Guide to Your Body, Sex, and Safety
by Nikol Hasler

I hope that I have been helpful to you. If so, please accept my answer so that JustAnswer can acknowledge me for my work and expertise. I love this job so much that I do it for a living. Thank you so much.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you very much. I just want so much for him to grow into the wonderful man I know he will be.. I don't want to screw him up, so to speak. Thanks I was thinking that the counselor would have to be 100% okay with him...that is the whole point, and if he shows any hesitancy to go then I will search for someone else until he finds someone he is comfortable with and can trust. Regarding your book suggestion...that is great for me but(would you have that in video game form for him? *chuckling*)...it might just wind up collecting dust on his book shelf.Might you have some suggestions what we/he should look for when we are on the hunt for a good counselor/ role model??
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Dear friend,

There is a DVD on the subject, also available at amazon and elsewhere. It is called:

TEENS, SEX & HEALTH - A Comprehensive Approach to Sexual Education
(DVD - Oct 14, 2008) Starring Educouch Experts, et al.

If you go to www.psychologytoday.com and then click on FIND A THERAPIST and then click your STATE and then your CITY, you will come up with a list, with information and a picture for each. You and your son can look that over together and he can pick a few to choose from. You should be able to have input, but probably let him have the final choice.

I hope this works for you.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

{Please Remember to ACCEPT My Answer}
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you so much for your help!! I really appreciate your positive feedback and reassurance. Thanks, again.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Dear friend,

Thank you for your kind words. Don't worry about your son. He is just a normal 13 year old boy. He has one very special things going for him - YOU !

Warm regards,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Dear friend,

I trust that all is well with you and your son. If you ever need a hand, feel free to call on me.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you so much, I will. :-)
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Dear friend,

Once again I wish you and your son great fortune and a contiued happy family.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
I trust that all is going well in your family and I wish you the best.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
I trust that all is going well in your family and I wish you the best.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

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