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Brad The Therapist
Brad The Therapist, LCPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 549
Experience:  10 years of experience in working with youth and adults
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How do I make a relationship work when I just have so much

Resolved Question:

How do I make a relationship work when I just have so much anger and unforgiveness through me?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Brad The Therapist replied 4 years ago.

Brad The Therapist :

Thank you for your question. Please tell me more about what you are angry about. What is your expectation of being in the relationship

Customer:

I am angry that they don't want to grow up and just have only me be the responsible one... like working and taking care of the kids. I just want a partnership and help without having to be asked and just have the respect towards me that I give him.

Brad The Therapist :

Who is "they"? Please tell me more about this relationship you are speaking about

Customer:

Just every relationship I have been in... I have been engaged 2 times but I always find a reason to break up with them because I lose respect and can't forgive them

Brad The Therapist :

There is a theory in psychology that humans have a pattern of relating to people. What is your relationship with your parents like?

Customer:

My mother left when I was 5 and my father never had a steady relationship but we were very close until he died when I was 16 then I was in foster care

Brad The Therapist :

I see...what is your fear when you becoming emotionally intimate with your partner?

Customer:

That I will eventually be alone

Brad The Therapist :

But a fear of being close to someone is fulfilling this...don't you think?

Customer:

Not if they are just there and its like I am alone anyways

Brad The Therapist :

In my opinion, the anger you have is really towards your mother who left at 5 and the father you lost at 16. You may be displacing your unresolved feelings towards your parents on these relationships. Have you considered attending therapy?

Customer:

I think I need to

Brad The Therapist :

That would be my suggestion. I appreciate your openess on this forum and I believe your insight and motivation will help you overcome these feelings.

Brad The Therapist :

Another suggestion I have for you is to find a therapist or psychologist who takes a psychodynamic perspective in therapy.

Brad The Therapist :

When looking contacting a therapist, you can ask what their theoretical orientation

Customer:

Thank you for listening... I really need to get thru this

Brad The Therapist :

not a problem. Do you have any further questions?

Customer:

will I need a different therapist for self esteem and eating disorder?

Brad The Therapist :

No...a good therapist would be able to help you with self-esteem and eating disorder as I believe your early attachment issues is related to your self-esteem and eating disorder.

Brad The Therapist :

Any other questions?

Brad The Therapist :

If not, I wish you all the best. Please consider pressing the "accept" button if you found me helpful.

Customer:

No thank you

Brad The Therapist and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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