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Not as important as just living together. We were Jr. Prom Sr. Prom dates...fell back in love 3 yrs ago....
I just feel three years is plenty of time to conclude our goal of living together. But NOT sleeping in her bed upstairs for this period of time makes no sense to me. Her answer is someday...just not now.... I actually feel her family relationship shapes her quirks and I feel she was an abandoned child...parents left them with Nanny...a lot...Never told her they loved her...no abuse but a lot of DISTRUST ON everything.... I feel like the COMPANION.... and at 65 I will be with the same situation....She is a procrastinator in most decisions....well to do financially, but won't spend money to do some things. She knows my two children much better than I know hers...I really feel most of it comes from her worrrying about what the children of 36 and 33 yrs will say...
Just guessing and so frustrating.
Wow. So they were in a relationship where it sounds like communication was definitely not that high on the list. It also sounds like she didn't discuss her misgivings with her kids either. Thus, she has remained very quiet about her feelings of unhappiness. My guess is that she was sharing her space with someone to whom she felt very disconnected for a very long time. Not being able to discuss that must have felt suffocating. I'm wondering how much she has actually grieved the loss of this relationship? That's one thing.
The other issue is that she may not be terribly excited about sharing her space all the time with someone else (due to her past) no matter how much she loves them. She's gaining her feelings of individuality again. Have you tried inviting her over to stay at your apartment more? I've heard a lot so far about moving in with her or staying at her place, which might be making her feel encroached upon... just a thought.