Hi Dr. Michael. Yes this all does make sense. It's a pretty ugly picture of him, but it is what his mother taught him. She wanted her "boys" to be with rich women, and made no bones about that. His ex fiance tried to find out if he would accept a job at home depot or something similar if he couldn't find other work, and he was adamant that that would be too demeaning for a man of his caliber. His one brother died of alcoholism recently, and the other one is seriously ill for the same reason. It's sad, but she ruined all of her "boys". Well, she got this one back, so I hope they're happy together. thank you for putting things back into perspective for me. I'm feeling better today. I'm concentrating on work, friends, my family, and looking to get another horse. Mine died during this relationship and that was so devastating. The though of getting another one is exciting to me, as I always loved horses and riding. I just need to get a horse I can trust. I think I take more care picking out horses than I do men. Probably because horses can't talk, so you can only base your judgements on their actions. It's funny, but I think true.
Recently when he was making my lunch in order to get me off to work, he mentioned that he could be a really good house husband. He was keeping up the laundry and often making dinner. I told him I didn't need a wife, I needed a partner. Also that house husband didn't count as a real job unless he was also taking care of a few kids. It seemed like joking at the time, but in retrospect, and with your input, now I guess he really wanted that. He was looking online for a 25-40 year old woman near where we lived. He'll have a hard time finding one that would accept his "resume". Thank you so much for all of your help. It will change my way of evaluating men in the future, If I ever even want to try again. It has also helped me not be so down on myself and blame my shortcomings for the failure of this and other relationships.
Come to think of it, though, there have been 3-4 men in the past who "adored "me and would "climb mountains for me". I wasn't attracted to them, though, not just physically but personality. How can I get myself to be more open to a "good man" and somehow allow myself to be attracted to them? I know other women who weren't attracted at first, but gave it a chance and eventually fell in love with men they weren't initially attracted to. I usually would date someone about three months, but If I wasn't feeling it would break up rather than risk hurting them more. I WISHED I could have loved those guys.