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Yes, he is upset about the whole situation.
I need to know how to make him realize what he has done and how I must approach him without making him feel worse. How do I as a parent discuss this with him to bring it out and not make him fell even more upset about what has happened but at the end of the day to realize what he has done and why it is not appropriate
I would approach the issue as calmly as possible and reassure him that this type of exploring of his body isn't unnatural, per se, but that you would like to know how the activity came about. I would stress that nobody is going to get in trouble - just that you would like to know why and how it originated.
If you find out that its just kids being kids, then speaking to him about how its inappropriate is the next step. However, I would want to be very certain about the origin of the play first. It could be that one of the kids is being abused or that there is an adult suggesting some of these activities...that's the worst case scenario, of course, but our first jobs as parents is to protect our kids.
Well, unless you can link it to a specific show he was actually watching, I wouldn't change your habits in response to his story. I would, however, impress upon him that lying is not acceptable and insist on the real story (again, getting back to the origin of the behavior). Make sure that he knows that he can tell you anything - anything at all - and that the only thing that isn't okay is lying.
This is a tricky situation, no doubt about it. But it sounds like he's already been shamed enough to feel bad and to make up stories. At this point, I would be supportive and gently try to discover the truth and mold his behavior gradually. This will all work out if you remain as obviously caring and dedicated as you seem! Best of luck to you!
Oh, good - you're welcome! If you have any further questions, feel free to look me up here.