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Dr. Michael
Dr. Michael, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2177
Experience:  Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
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Im trying to help a 50 yr old woman....graduate of American University....stayed hom

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I'm trying to help a 50 yr old woman....graduate of American University....stayed home and took care of her parents till they passed away. Shes a hard worker...paper route 2am till 6am.....saleslady 6 days a week for Lord/Taylor, and saleslady for TJMax on her day off. I've managed to have her give up 20 cats. she now has 3 left. I saw a show this am about a lady living with her parents...well educated and can't get a job. Sounds like Elizabeth. Vocational counselor seems to be what Elizabeth needs. She never had to make a decision while growing up....everything was done for her.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Michael replied 2 years ago.
Hello. I believe I can be of help to you with this issue.

Wow! 20 cats?

There is probably NOTHING more important in this woman's life right now than your friendship and gentle mentoring. Your idea about vocational rehabilitation services is excellent. If you found out who her counselor at the agency was, you could perhaps put a quiet 'bug in their ear' that she suggest some individual therapy for her as well. It isn't clear to me what her emotional/personality problems might be of course from this short post, but I suspect she has trouble forming and maintaining intimate relationships with people---which may seem ironic because she is a sales person in two stores and obviously, projects a positive image of herself to the public (at least I'm assuming she does). So you are in the role of coaxing her along and making suggestions (WHEN SHE ASKS)---which will happen more and more if what you suggest works out well for her and she sees you as 'wise', after she tries it. And most importantly, you can help her by reinforcing any little effort she makes. Getting rid of 17 cats is huge---cause for a celebration, actually. So you need to be her #1 cheerleader when she IS successful or takes a new 'baby step'. Your reinforcement of even minor successes is really, really important.

What do you think? Am I addressing your question/concern?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

thank you....you confirmed what I am doing as OK. Makes me feel I am on the right track. I saw part of Dr.Phils show

this am where the girl that lived with her parents counldn't make $$ ends meet to go out on her own. She never had to make decisions as a child and was spoiled. Dr. Phil said she missed a very important part of growing up by being sheltered.......this describes Elizabeth. ( by the way...I got rid of 20 cats....still 3 at home). She has no counselor.....its me. Eliz is very hard headed, and I told her yesterday that so far she has been thrilled with what I have had her do....she has to trust my decisions and make a move to come live with me. My plan is to get her in counseling, a tech training school, then a job.

thank you

Expert:  Dr. Michael replied 2 years ago.
Best of luck with this. Let me know if I can be of further help.

Please click on the green Accept button at the bottom of the screen. Thanks
Dr. Michael, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2177
Experience: Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
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