Hello. I believe I can be of help to you with this issue.
I'll toss out 3-4 hypotheses. I don't know your wife well enough to place any weight on any one---you can do this of course.
1. Passive-aggressive behavior: As a reflection of cloaked or subtle, chronic anger, some people will act in aggressive ways that are fully deniable ("I'm not angry whatsoever") So the dawdle, procrastinate, undermine, sabotage the work of others, fail to fulfill the needs of others.
2. Lack of empathy: Some people do 'get' how their failure to support and give equal time/energy/attention to others hurts the feelings and trust others have in them. They are unable to truly sympathize and understand what other people are experiencing.
3. Attention deficit disorder
: Some people cannot stay focused, on task, due to attention deficit problems. They are generally quite disorganized, fail to regularly complete tasks, move from one task to the next without finalizing them, one at a time.
4. Narcissism: The person lives each day in their 'own little world', expecting others to meet their needs and demands, while rarely reciprocating. They tend to feel 'entitled' and get upset when they are not catered to or when people don't recognize their very minor accomplishments and lavish praise on them. They tend to also lack empathy for others.
What do you think?