Doctors in and out of my room. Shrink told me that I need a mood stabilizer at 10:20 pm. No further discussion. Neurologist writes that I am depressed and manic on the second hospital day. I was at 2 holiday parties in December. I was at the movies on Christmas in the evening. My girlfriend came over and spent the night after the movie. I went out with friends 6 days prior to my first admission. She did not notice anything unusual. I was with my, friend again, 6 days prior to admissions. I was admitted on Jan 23rd, about one month later. 72 hour hold.
As per first email, I was on Lyrica 50 mg hs, 1/2 - 1/3 Vicodin ER, Lidoderm Patches, Naproxen, Ambien. Opiates positive due to Vicodin. All other test were normal.
Do bipolars have flight of ideas, pressured speech, memory lapses? I clearly recall getting ready for work. I dressed up in a suit. I looked up the name of a pharmacy where I had purchased some Lidoderm Patches. This was not my regular pharmacy. I called up, I asked to pay with my credit card. I read off all of the digits. I drove to work 15 minutes from home. I walked into the buiding where I work. I came in at the same time as this man I had known for years. I told Marvin what had happened the night before. This man in my office shouting at me for a minor problem. I started to cry. I felt sorry for my self. A separation, my staff taking advantage of me, this man in my office who I had helped. Marvin knew how hard I worked. Marvin was afraid that this man had assulted me. He had a staff who was with a bastard husband.
I am not a shrinking violet, but I have gone through a lot to achieve what I did. Marvin knows this. I had moved my office 5 times. I built out an office and was sued. I did not know what an estopel was. I did not have an attorney. I had terrible staff, but did not want to fire them. I did not want a affirmative action law suit. I was changing my own spools of toilet paper and watering my own orchids. They had my credit cards and but did not buy stamps or supplies. I paid my staff $5.00 to $9.00 more per hour than others. Let them use my credit card for lunch. Let them take days off when they wanted. I finally had a heart to heart discussion with one of my staff. Both walked out. I was happy.
I was very sleepy after 2 mg of IV Ativan and 2.5 mg of IV Haldol. I so sedated, but after I woke up, I could not sleep for 1 1/2 days. I had a sitter by my side. It was 68 degrees. I could not leave the room. Diagnosed with mania and depression after 2 days!! I have never been depressed. I have been sad. I was not my chipper self.
At baseline, I cry at funerals, I cry at movies, I cry when I see other people crying. I cry when I see people on Dancing With The Stars doing really well when they didn't think they could. I cry when I am surprised with a beautiful gift; touched.
Do bipolars have marked flight of ideas, pressured speech, tangential thinking, memory lapses?
I have read many accounts of individuals with bipolar disorders. They have shared their experiences online. They wanted to stay up all night and do projects. I wanted to sleep. I took Ambien and Benadry.
What is your opinion? Do you think that I am bipolar?