Hi! I'm so sorry that the situation has gotten this bad. But actually, it hasn't gotten any worse, it's only clarified the problem. But I'm very sorry you're going through this. You were seeking a normal marriage with someone who has a normal relationship with his sexuality.
And you have seen now that your husband's sexuality is not at all normal. He has an addiction problem. The question is now whether he still has the ability to have any normal sexual intimacy or if his obsession and addiction have now overtaken him to the point that he no longer has desire for normal sexual interaction.
Last time I recommended certified sex therapists. At this point he will need also group therapy, perhaps a Sex Addicts Anonymous group. Here's the web address for Sex Addicts Anonymous: http://www.sexaa.org/
But my main concern: I am not confident he has the willingness to seek help.And this is going to put tremendous pressure on you. What do I mean?
You must therefore be willing to put it all on the line. The whole marriage. That's about as confrontational as it gets. But I've seen more often than not that when the obsession and addiction have gotten this pathological, nothing less will get the message across. He'll just play you till you back down and he continues on.
I wish there was an easier way, but you're dealing with true pathology here. So, be strong, be confident that you're okay and you'll be okay and then give him the opportunity to seek help and if not, then you may have to take some radical steps.
What do you think?
Okay, I wish you the very best!
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