My doctor refered my to an NHS Psychiatrist, but the appointment did
not go well, he really did not ask me anything and being nervous I did not know what to say anyway. He has just told me that I need anti depressant tablets, which my Doctor can take care of for me.
I know that I have something wrong for the following reasons:
I really suffer with depression. This is not just because of life factors, without anti depresants I feel very low (sometimes feel suicidle), I get angry and agressive and not even a winning lottery ticket would change the way I feel.
I need things around me to be organised, I feel very stressed if my surroundings are untidy or day to day plans get altered.
I do not feel connected to people at all, not even close friends and family. Even writing this I am aware of how wrong it sounds. I have seen bad car accidents etc and the people around me get emmotional, but I dont. I pretend, because I know it isnt right. On the up side of that I am very useful in situations like this because I see it as "right the car has crashed, call 999, check the driver is ok etc". I have had relatives in hospital and I dont have any problem functioning normally. I do care, but not in an emotional way. From watching TV I think that some people like this are classed as psycopaths. I dont think this applies to me at all because I dont ever think about hurting people, it is not something I enjoy seeing etc.
I have a habit of going through phases of doing utterly stupid things. I say or do things and then my friends and family look at me funny and say "youve done what?". Mostly after I think about it I agree that it was stupid, but at the time I really didnt think that it was. My GP questioned the possibility of bi-polar disorder when referring me to the Psychiatrist. I think that this sounds familiar having googled it, but I can see how the need for organisation and unemotionial parts fit in.
I should add
that I am 33, female and I have an issue with obesity. I do know that at times people have blamed my mental health issues on my weight problem so that it can be brushed under the carpet. I think that it is the other way around, if I can tackle my mental health I believe I will better control my weight.
I am currently prescribed lamotragine 200mg a day and venlafaxine 75mg a day (with a view to increase it slightly after I have been taking it a few weeks).
If you can help me get an idea of what is wrong with me I will look into getting myself sorted. Thank you for your time.