Hello. I believe I can be of help to you with this issue.
I can give you a 'guy' perspective on this and I think it does interface a bit with what the previous expert said to you. I first, want to say that I think you actually have this figured out on your own, but are truly having a hard time accepting this. That is, it is though you have a wise, rational mind within you that has 'figured it out' because you are smart and high social intelligence. However, your emotional distress is due to the fact that you also have a more emotional, less rational train of thought that was extremely caught up in this fairy-tale like scenario, was hopeful that this might turn into a serious, meaningful relationship, full of love, mutual respect etc. And this aspect of your mind or thinking cannot believe a guy would do this to you. So here is one key point: You are actually struggling with this internal conflict between your strong, emotional, romantic, but less objective trains of thought, and the truly wise, rational mind you also have, that has pretty much figured this out already, regarding "WHY" he did this. Let me lay this out for you if I can:
So here is one of your statements dictated to your computer written by your 'wise rational mind":
"I asked him if this was just "unfinished business" for him and not to play me because he could easily get sex elsewhere." So here, your wise rational mind is
suspicious that you might be simply 'played' by him for purposes of sex---a sort of sexual conquest he might want to have.
Now, here is a statement that is based on your emotional, romantic train of thought
that seeks to counter the suspicion you had just written above (now, again all of this stuff is going on in your head back and forth---wise rational mind----emotional needy-romantic-mind, as a sort of internal debate about this guy) The emotional-romantic-less objective train of thought counters with:
" He swore he was not playing and to not insult him by calling it unfinished business. He told me that he would not go through all this trouble of one month texts and calls and planning trips together, if he did not like me. It was very intense communication for one month. He had even invited me to Dubai at some point." You see, here, you are saying that your emotional/romantic mind wants very much to believe his words; in this phrase, you are clearly caught up in the hoping-wanting-to-believe-fantasy of the idea that you want him to be serious about you and you love the intensity of the romantic communication. You want this dream to come true e.g., "if he invites me to Dubai at some point it MUST mean he loves me and I want him to care!!!"
More wise-rational mind:
"I had told him I am not the kind to just sleep around. He knew." Again, your wise rational mind was putting him on notice, warning him to not 'play you' here.
And then more emotional-romantic-less-objective train of thought follows the above train of thought:: " And while we were in London, he could not believe how sweet and nice I was." Your emotional translation: "He must TRULY care about me because he is complimenting me on being so sweet and nice---I'm just what he wants in this regard---and I'm certainly trying hard to be!"
And then a wise rational train of thought: "He kept commenting about that, almost as if it was something bad. I think that made him quite uncomfortable in fact." Translated by your wise rational mind: "I am a bit suspicious that he sort of thinks being so sweet and nice is bad. Does this comment actually mean that he is feeling a bit guilty because he knows he is actually just leading me on? Because if I were not so nice and sweet, he'd have less guilt and an easier time using or exploiting me? I'm wise here to at least be suspicious about what his intentions are"
The next emotional/nonobjective train of thought: "We went out to dinners, hung out with his business school buddies there, etc." Translated: When we did this, it helped verify that he was proud to be with me, show me off a bit to his friends and make me part of his life. Certainly, he must care!"
Then, your wise rational mind counters: "But his demeanor changed the day of his departure. All cold and distant. Also quite critical of others and of me. It just seemed that he had low self esteem and that he was out to hook me, devalue me and reject me in the end for the ultimate ego boost. I'm just surprised that he did not even want to see me after in Dubai. No second encounter. I wonder if the only thing he enjoys is the challenge, the thrill of the chase. And now that he got me, he is off to his next target. Why bother with me again." Translated: "I'm afraid I was living in a fairyland state of mind in believing him. His devaluing and mistreatment of me was a way for him to dump me cold so he would not have to feel guilty. It was his way of communicating to me that suddenly, for whatever reason, he would not be making me any part of his life going forward. Unfortunately, my suspicions about being used and exploited for his selfish pleasure and to serve as another sexual conquest are probably true!"
Another wise rational mind self-statement: " Is he a narcissist and I just fed his ego?" Translated: How does one understand a man who would do something like this?
Now the last expert suggested that such behavior by men might be endemic in the culture, but frankly, many guys all over the world act this way toward women. This is WHY women are very smart to not fall for a guy so quickly; make sure he is willing to "climb any mountain" for them, through consistent ACTIONS over TIME and not by paying much attention whatsoever to their WORDS and verbal promises. Don't jump into bed so quickly with a guy you don't know, if this means you will feel emotionally harmed by it, if he proves to be unworthy and is disrespecting you
Your wise rational mind again: "I refuse to call him or confront him in any way. " And I would say, YES, this is the wise rational thing to do.
Your emotional mind is then saying: "But I'm suffering mourning the loss of his words and constant attention in the beginning." I'm left wondering if I did something wrong or if I was not good enough.How do I get over this narcissistic guy? "
Here is the hard part of my message to you: If you now go back and string together every objective, rational idea and statement you've considered about this guy----you can do this a tiny bit by just cutting and pasting the wise, rational trains of thought contained in your post to me for starters---string them consecutively on a page and read them over and over, you have your answer. You SHOULD HAVE attended more to your wise rational mind, but instead, you followed your emotional/needy/romantic mind in this matter. YOUR WISE, RATIONAL MIND will almost never steer you wrong, but your emotional mind very often will. Believing what any guy says, rather than what he consistently DOES over time is a huge mistake of course and I doubt your wise rational mind will let you forget that key point in relationships with men. I don't think you need a counselor. You know what happened here---at least your wise rational mind does. Unfortunately, you were taken advantage of by a smooth-talking, flattering guy who mostly wanted to add
another conquest to his life experience; genuine love, romance, and commitment were simply not on his mind at all; this was most probably, a lengthy, drawn out seduction game he was playing---and you merely made the mistake of believing his words rather than his actions along the way, and failed to attend to your wise rational mind which would have prompted you to: 1) slow down; 2) be highly suspicious and cautious; 3) believe his actions over his words; 4) take all the time you need to make sure he can pass more 'tests', before you slept with him.
You should not communicate with him---your emotional mind really, really wants to but your wise rational mind says, No way! Which do you think you should listen to?
Will pause here to solicit your feedback