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Hi- This is a very common set up for young male victims of sexual molestation. I put it that way so that you can identify the reality of what you happened.
Sexual abuse is about abuse of power and if you were under the influence of the power of the Dean.PERIOD. NO NEED TO RATIONALIZE. It is the person who has responsibility of POWER (The Dean) to exercise appropriate control over those whom he is responsible for and in this case you were taken advantage of and then "groomed" into taking money for additional sexual exploitation.
AT this age it is a very confusing time for all young men and women when it comes to sexuality and that is why no one in authority should take advantage of someone and sexually exploit them - as you were. This is also where a lot of the shame and guilt lies as you (like many others) continued to act out sexually - which is also a manifestation of the behavior of the sexual abuse survivor.
You are definitely the Victim of Sexual Abuse. You are NOT a gigilo.
You need look no father to the pending action at Penn State University to see how pervasive the behavior of a sexual perpetrator can be and you, like many of the Penn State Survivors (still coming out of the woodwork) were taken advantage of and I am sure that this secret has caused considerable turmoil in your world.
I have heard from many people who are male survivors that have also come forward since the Penn State scandal. You may wish to use this example as an opening in disclosing this to your wife and whomever else you decide.
One of the most important things is that you know you are not alone and that you there are millions of men and women that have suffered sexual abuse and are successfully able to move on from this.
In the links I provided, I hope you were able to see how much support is available and how much information is available for male survivors of sexual abuse. If there is anything else I can provide, I will be happy to help you in any way.
PS: When you responded yesterday, I told you that you could reply without having to repay. That should have been the case, however, I did not respond before the question "timed out" therefore, you had to deposit more funds.
Therefore, I will be happy to have customer service refund the cost of this response.
Just let me know in your reply and I will take care of it.