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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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How do I get my mom to stop being demanding and controlling

Resolved Question:

How do I get my mom to stop being demanding and controlling over what I choose to do?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I am so sorry for your difficult home situation.

Your mother does seem like a very demanding person, thinking only about her needs and trying to dominate others, particularly you. She may have a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or just very narcissistic. She will only get more difficult with every passing year.

You will not change her. You can only change yourself and your response to her. You cannot reason with her, use logic, use leverage, or do anything else to change her behavior. Don't argue with her, don't protest, don't be defensive, and do what you want to do. Tell her sorry mother, but you have to live your life in the way that suits you, just like everyone else has to, including me.

If everyone stopped worshipping Queen Elizabeth she would merely be an old gray-haired woman.

If you want to get some real advice in great detail, buy and read this book, available at www.amazon.com and elsewhere:

The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family
by Eleanor D. Payson

I wish you the power to understand that she won't change, and therefore to adapt to the way she is and make your life a lot more simple and pleasant.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
My mom also shows off at times, plus takes things that don't belong to her then she will deny it time and time again. When that happens I'll go snooping in her room and find what she took. Its happened in the past where she has lied about how she doesn't know where something is then I'll find it and confront her about and she'll give the lame excuse saying my mom. Was going to tell me that she found it. She has stolen money from me and denied that!! I also have found my money in room!!! Should I press charges the next time she does that so I can teach her a lesson?
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Dear friend,

Don't press charges against your mother. You will not help her because she has a mental condition. You also won't be able to prove anything.

Lock your room or hide your valuables. Invest some money in a small safe and keep it bolted to the floor, if possible. Or just find some better hiding places for your valuables.

If you have a lot of money, put it in the bank. Put a lock on the door to your room and don't give her the key.

There are lot of things that you can do.

I have given you two very good answers. Please ACCEPT at least one of them so that JustAnswer can acknowledge me for my expertise and time. I love what I do, but I do this for a living. Thank you so much.

I wish you great success in protecting yourself from her taking your posessions.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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