You have gotten some solid advice for the other Experts. I would like to add a few thoughts.
Yes...I would take your wife up on her offer to go to couple's therapy. I would encourage you to let her pick the therapist. You already have an individual therapist and even if that person does marriage counseling, it would be important for you wife to be able to have her say in this. She will then be able to feel emotionally safe.
Please be clear with her that the goal of couple's therapy would not be to repair the marriage, but rather to repair the relationship. I know that your ultimate goal is to be a family again, but that can only come if and when your relationship heals.
As to the anniversary. Absolutely. Ask her to dinner - not for the sake of romancing her - but to mark the many good years you had together and the things you share (the children). If she says yes...terrific. Keep it low-key and simple - nothing elaborate or "over the top." A pleasant meal at a favorite restaurant. If she says no, then send her a simple bouquet of her favorite flowers on your anniversary date with a note that simply says, :Thinking of you" - nothing else. No I love you and miss you....okay!
As to moving out. Yes...you need to find your own permanent place to live. You are only prolonging your pain and misery by grabbing clothing here and there. She needs to know that you have taken her seriously. Getting your own place will transmit this message. It will also allow you to bring back a sense of normalcy to your life. I don't imagine this will be easy...but it is an important step in showing her the respect she asks for.
From what you wrote, I gather that you are now taking responsibility for some of your past poor choices - anger, financial choices - this is very good. In couple's therapy you will have an opportunity to talk more specifically to her about these things. That could be quite eye opening for her and become a bridge that brings you back together.
Please hold on to hope!
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