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thank you so much. I have studied borderline personality disorder as well as narcissistic personality disorder. I can see many familiar signs in both disorders but more prominent in the narcissistic one. She is defnitely scared of losing control and aging. She wants to be the beautiful one and the clever one, and this pattern becomes more prominent with age. About 5 years back she was a different person. Lack of empathy and sympathy are also noticable signs. She do gossip and tell lies and caused alot of pain in the larger family cycle.
This is rather a difficult story, but we will try our best. I want to do good not bad and it is difficult because she is looking down on her family, claming that she is the only successful one. I will study treatment extensively before making any move and will rather wait for the best time. Thanks again!