Hello and thank you for sharing what you have been through. It has to feel overwhelming to still be coping with your symptoms and have few answers.
When you mentioned all of your diagnosis, it was quite a list! Although I cannot diagnose you without being able to see you face to face, your list of symptoms do sound like Major Depressive Disorder with psychotic features. Major Depressive disorder is marked by feeling depressed most of the time, suicidal ideation with or without a plan, lack of motivation, feeling tired, and feeling worthless. It can also include hallucinations. Does this sound like fits what you feel?
If you feel that therapy and medications have not helped you, it may be that you have not had the right therapist/ therapy or the right medications. It often takes a few tries with different therapists until you find one you feel can help you. Just as you do with your family doctor, being choosy about your therapist is a good idea. You want someone who you feel gives you the attention you need and that has the appropriate background and experience to help you find relief from your symptoms. Here is a guide on how to find a good therapist:
To find a therapist, try asking your doctor for a referral. You can also search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/.
Once you have a working diagnosis, you can talk about medications. Medications are not necessary in your treatment unless the therapist, psychiatrist and you feel that your daily life is so affected by your symptoms that you cannot function with therapy alone. If you do need to take medications to function, then it may take some searching to find one that would work for you. You may need to start on the lowest dose possible until you see how you react to the medication.
You may also want to try self help. By learning more about your symptoms, you can learn to cope better. Here are some resources that might help you:
http://helpguide.org/mental/bipolar_disorder_symptoms_treatment.htm (just in case you feel this diagnosis fits you better).
You may also want to think about support groups, either on line or in person. They can help you find the support you need with others who understand how you feel. There are support groups listed at the end of each link I sent you.
Your family may want to get support and learn how to cope with your symptoms through an organization called NAMI. They offer education and answers so your family can feel better about helping you. Here is their address:
I hope this has helped you,