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MN Psychiatrist
MN Psychiatrist, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 792
Experience:  Physician for 17 years, adult psychiatrist for 13 years working with a wide variety of patients.
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I have the greatest man on earth who wants to spend the rest

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I have the greatest man on earth who wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I am struggling with an ex who is really not good for me. The man who loves me is willing to do anything to have me. I know what I need to do but that is different than what I want to do. What is wrong with me?
Hello, I am a psychiatrist.
I could best help you with this if I knew a bit more about the situation. What is it that you need to do?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

If I know these things about him:


He is my best friend

He is the best lover

He is the best provider

He treats me with respect

He loves me

I love him


And about myself: I am being irresponsible, Immoral, selfish to Him, my kids, my family, his family and his friends then that should give me my answer. Get rid of the loser and make what could be my last relationship work. Is this what I do or does me even having these feelings for a ex mean that I dont love the good guy?

What contact - if any - do you have with your ex, and is he an ex-husband or ex-boyfriend?
What are you doing to be being selfish and immoral?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
He is an ex boyfriend and he is no good for me but I keep being lured back to him which is selfish and immoral to string along two different people especially when one of them is so good and one is not
I see. You're right in that it is not good to string people along. Why do you go back to your ex-boyfriend? Is it because you love him, or miss him, or pity him, or is there another reason?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
It was a bad breakup that I never really got over before I began dating the new guy. The new guy and I have been together alomost a year now and out of the blue the ex called and wanted me back so I went. We have alot of fun together but there is no room in his life for my kids or me for that matter. He is not even what I want for my life. The one who loves me and is so perfect has always been told in relationships that he is to nice. I promised him I would give him a better reason than that. I can't put my finger on it though. I hate hurting him and can't blame him if he never forgives me but I feel like the right thing is to let him love me like he does and go ahead and comitt to him. I just have to be sure this time for his sake. Do I love him...or do I feel sorry for him. I keep telling myself that if it hurts me so much to hurt him than I love him
Maybe you love him, but maybe you don't want to hurt him just because it's not good to hurt people. You need to make sure that you're not confusing love and compassion.

It sounds like you know your ex-boyfriend is bad for you, but that - like you say - you haven't gotten through that relationship and so you're not ready for another one right now. If that's how it is, you cannot speed it up, just because you'd like to. I think that for you to really, really, really be sure about what you're doing, you need to start seeing a therapist weekly so that you can process through all your thoughts and feelings about these two men. You have some big decisions before you, and they need to be well considered, so you make the best choices.
Does this make sense?
MN Psychiatrist and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Didn't mean for the Neutral feedback but I can't fidure out how to change it
I'll contact administration about this. Thanks.

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