I am sorry this is happening to you. It sounds like the system you are working with gives you little to no choice about what you feel is good for you. That can make you feel very alone and trapped.
There are numerous resources that you can use to help yourself. Here are some to get you started:
http://helpguide.org/mental/bipolar_disorder_symptoms_treatment.htm- this offers some basic information
Try these sites. They offer not only information, but links and support groups as well. They can provide a launch point for self help.
If you need more resources, just let me know. I am happy to help.
I can't believe this is happening to me. I was told that this team will support me for up to 2 years. I went onto their caseload in May, put up with my CPN telling me on her first visit that she had an abortion 8 years ago because her baby had Down Syndrome (I lost a little boy 12 years ago at 35 weeks because he had Down Syndrome), had numerous appointments by her cancelled with just 20 minutes notice, was put on medication by one of their doctors that I should never have been prescribed, switched to a new care coordinator who would 'help rebuild my trust in the team', let me down 3 months later by transferring me to another care coordinator without any warning and now this! Unfortunately, this is the only 'support' available to me.
I'll have a look through the links tomorrow when, hopefully, I'll be in a better emotional place to absorb what's out there for me.
Meanwhile, I will accept your answer and get back in touch if I need more information.
Thanks again. It's refreshing to feel heard for once.
One last thing, are there any online sites to help with self harm and/or bulimia please? I need to sort this ... and fast.
You're welcome Sue. Anytime.
The treatment you are getting from this CPN sounds inappropriate. She should not be telling you about her personal experiences. If you had the same kind of experience or something similar (which you did) it would re traumatize you.
Is there any way you can change the treatment team you see?
I just got your additional post. The borderline personality disorder sites will address the self harm because that is a symptom. Here are some additional sites:
Let me know if you need more resources. They are plenty out there!
Thank you ahead of time for your accept,
I can't change teams because there is no other team.
I insisted in September that I couldn't cope with being let down by her one way or another. The final straw came after she cancelled an appointment for an emergency. She rang me that afternoon saying that she'd had a difficult day and that I would read about the emergency in the local papers. She made another appointment for the following week and failed to turn up! When I rang to see where she was I was put through to her! She asked if I had read about the emergency (a fatal stabbing), told me that the accused was one of her patients (thus breaking confidentiality) and then told me that she was SO preoccupied with this case that she had written my appointment in the wrong page of her diary! No apology!
I eventually got my new care coordinator 3 weeks later ... I had gone 8 weeks without a home visit, whereas my care plan stated that I should receive visits every 2 weeks! This was all done at the same time that effectively I had to go cold turkey when they withdrew my antidepressants!
As I said, there is only one team which causes a problem if I need to speak to a duty worker, as I cannot and will not talk to my original cpn!
Just before Christmas I contacted the local mental health advocacy service, following advice from another cpn, and have made a complaint about the first cpn.
I just don't know how much more rubbish I can take, hence the worsening of the self harm. I also know when I am getting out of control by how obsessive I get over stupid things! All I want is this mental torture to end and to start feeling better! Is that so much to ask?
Sorry, I didn't mean to offload so much, but it torments me the whole time!
Thanks for the extra links.
That sounds horrible! It's a shame that the CPN was so unprofessional. When that happens, people get hurt. And you got hurt in this one.
It was good that you reported her. Hopefully, they will do something about it.
It is hard but try to keep moving forward. You are doing well by trying to pursue other avenues for yourself. Sometimes you just need to take the situation in your own hands in order to get what you need. It's not right to do to you, but you are strong and you will get through this.