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psychlady
psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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~Please Help!!! I am having a difficult time focusing

Resolved Question:

Please Help!!! I am having a difficult time focusing in order to get my job done, in addition to accomplishing some very important goals accomplished in 2012. My wife of 12 years has locked me out emotionally for reasons that are not quite clear to me, but, I have concluded thanks to personal counseling that she is going through a period of personal development that doesn't involve me. She's been unemployed for 10 years and has made her mission to get a job this year. I spent the month of January trying to figure out how to repair our marriage, maybe to to the point where I pushed her further away.....she doesn't want to meet with a counselor together until she gets a job... somehow, I have to function despite the agony I feel about the sudden and abrupt changes in our relationship. When we spoke late Dec. 2011(when the changes took place) She said some very hurtful things to me, which she has apologized for, but it is difficult for me to get past what she said...we haven't talked about so it's stuck in my ears/heart. Everytime I asked someone....How do I ignore what is going on in my relationship to focus on what I need to get accomplish? .....no one seems to know. I am hoping someone here would know.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

If you have a partner that isn't talking then examine the way you are communicating about this issue and see if that can be improved upon. There are lots of guides to improving communication. The Mars and Venus series is excellent. If your approach changes you might get further than you have recently. There are also marriage workshops and other options in any area. When you resolve some of the issue you can probably increase your ability to concentrate. I know she has said counseling is not a priority until she is working but find out why. If it's cost find someone who works on a fee sliding scale in your area. If you got her to counseling things may improve dramatically. Also see if she has suggestions for improving this situation. If your solution is based on cost you may also try your clergy. If she isn't willing to do anything then that tells you that she doesn't want to resolve the problems.

 

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