How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Suzanne Your Own Question

Suzanne
Suzanne, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience:  LCSW, RN. Mental Health, Relationship & Parenting issues.EMDR, Hypnosis.
32195369
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Suzanne is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

ASK SUZANNE, I still feel like I need help. Ive been spending

Resolved Question:

ASK SUZANNE, I still feel like I need help. I've been spending a lot of money on my hair. I still don't like it but it is livable. I'd like to make an appt at a fancy salon and get it fixed but to spend more money on something like this isn't really worth it right now. I need to stop obsessing about my hair and commit to just getting it done when the roots come in. Do you know of any ways I can stop obsessing about my hair and appearance? Thanks, Jen
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Suzanne replied 2 years ago.

The reason you're obsessing about your appearance right now may be more related to how you're feeling emotionally than it does to how you actually look. As you said, your hair isn't perfect, but it's livable.

 

This worry about appearances is likely due to the re-surgence of your feelings of competition with your in-laws. Since their lives look so perfect to you, you might be worried about anything about yourself that you feel isn't perfect. You can't really control your financial situation and the problems with your intimacy, so it's "easier" in a way to worry about outward appearances, because it feels like you do have some control over them.

 

But in the long run, spending more money when it isn't absolutely necessary will just make you feel worse, as you'll have added to your financial problems for something that will grow out (or need to be re-touched) in a month or two anyway.

 

We talked yesterday about finding self-esteem and self-worth in things that have real value--like caring for your loved ones. Making the commitment to wait until you actually need it re-done will let you be proud of yourself for putting your and your family's financial security first...and that will make you feel a lot better inside than an adjustment to your hair color ever would.

 

Suzanne, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience: LCSW, RN. Mental Health, Relationship & Parenting issues.EMDR, Hypnosis.
Suzanne and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Suzanne replied 2 years ago.

The reason you're obsessing about your appearance right now may be more related to how you're feeling emotionally than it does to how you actually look. As you said, your hair isn't perfect, but it's livable.

 

This worry about appearances is likely due to the re-surgence of your feelings of competition with your in-laws. Since their lives look so perfect to you, you might be worried about anything about yourself that you feel isn't perfect. You can't really control your financial situation and the problems with your intimacy, so it's "easier" in a way to worry about outward appearances, because it feels like you do have some control over them.

 

But in the long run, spending more money when it isn't absolutely necessary will just make you feel worse, as you'll have added to your financial problems for something that will grow out (or need to be re-touched) in a month or two anyway.

 

We talked yesterday about finding self-esteem and self-worth in things that have real value--like caring for your loved ones. Making the commitment to wait until you actually need it re-done will let you be proud of yourself for putting your and your family's financial security first...and that will make you feel a lot better inside than an adjustment to your hair color ever would.

 

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
 
 
 

Related Mental Health Questions