How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Colby Your Own Question

Dr. Colby
Dr. Colby, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 85
Experience:  Licensed psychologist in WA. Areas of practice are clinical psychology, forensic psychology and clinical neuropsychology.
25026376
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Dr. Colby is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

i feel very depressed and worthless and i just lashed out at

Customer Question

i feel very depressed and worthless and i just lashed out at my fiance and told him i didnt want to get married and now im sad because i got upset at him for no reason and i feel like im just failing at everything. im a 21 yr old single mum and i studying full time at tafe and its overwhelming. i can't stop crying.i have had alot of past problems- i was raped when i was 14. could u please help me ?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Colby replied 2 years ago.

Dr. Colby :

Hi, this is Dr. Colby.

Your situation sounds pretty tense. I'd like to get a little more info, first, and maybe ask some questions. Basically, can you give my more info about your history of this kind of lashing out verbally, if any, especially to people you care a lot about? Has it ever been accompanied by a physical expressed of anger or frustration other than something benign like slapping your hand on the table? Do you have a history of any illegal drug use and was that a factor this time? How about alcohol? How about excessive caffeine? Are you taking prescribed medication and, if so, for what? You mentioned flashbacks ... of the rape? Of something else?

So, please fill in the history for yourself a little so I can get a better handle on what to suggest. Thanks.

Customer :

my lashing out is just me feeling worthless and that he doesnt understand me mainly ifeel unappreciated. i dont physically get angry i usualy hide in my room and run away from situations. no illegal drug use i have never used drugs i do not drink.when i was rapped it happened wen i was drunk and so ive never drunk again.no caffeine either. i have barely eaten or drunk today. and i hav lost interest in my son a bit. and no i havent been on any medication.yes flashbacks of rape i get them every now and again.when i was rapped it was at night and by my friends brothers friend. i was tied up and couldnt move. i find it very hard even now to have sex with my fiance and i cant have an orgasm because i dont enjoy it so we stop alot.

Dr. Colby :

This is very helpful. Thank you for revealing so much. To help me help you, can you tell me if there is a particular reason you have not returned to the psychologist, other than that s/he moved, or you moved, or something like that? In other words, was your experience in treatment at all negative and, if so, generally why?

Customer :

my last visit to my psychologist was about a year/ year and a half ago.my life wa sorted a bit better. i only started studying mid last yr. i was not depressed but recently it has triggered again. i have also moved up to brisbane and my psychologist was in northern nsw.

Customer :

as u can tell i can open up about my rape now.i didnt tell anyone about it until i was 19 years old. and even now i have alot of trust issues. i also was previously in a verbally and physically abusive relationship (he had also put his hands on me before)

Dr. Colby :

Well, distance can be a hassle.

OK, it seems pretty clear to me -- and perhaps to you, too -- that more intervention is needed. Do you know if there are either public or private mental health resources fairly close by, like, within a couple hours' driving distance? Finding something close beats the heck out of driving forever and ever for an hour's appointment. Specifically, are there high quality public sources available, like mental health outpatient facilities, or the same connected to a hospital?

Customer :

there is one hospital nearby but i dont have family here i live on my own at the moment so i dont have family to mind my son.

Dr. Colby :

And how old is your son?

Customer :

he is 3 years old

Dr. Colby :

Hmm. You mentioned Brisbane. Might there be day care centers around that could take him for about 90 minutes, or so, or some other community group you'd trust, so you could go to weekly appointments for a while?

Customer :

i could maybe put him in daycare tomorrow and go and see someone.

Customer :

i have been having thoughts of suicide again so i probably should

Dr. Colby :

OK. Well, here's what I think you need -- please don't be offended by my directness -- and how important it is for you to get something going for yourself.

There could be many reasons for your lashing out, but the most likely, I think, is that under stress, you (like everyone else) fall back on your emergency system, and with a history like you have had of having people you are supposed to be able to trust abusing you horribly (rape is brutal under the best of conditions), that might be to lash out in defense against perceived threat. Even if it is not a real threat.

Dr. Colby :

So, continuing, this can get destructive to relationships, to you, to everyone. Intervention can work, but you have to be willing to try it.

Dr. Colby :

Individual therapy may help you, and you may also need to see someone who can prescribe a medication to relieve the nightmare you feel yourself falling back into. There are some that are more benign than others. Be an aware consumer and ask a LOT of questions before just taking anything.

Dr. Colby :

As for the therapy, there's a pretty good chance you are going to remember the good stuff you learned, before, and build on it.

Dr. Colby :

Is there any chance your sweetie will forgive (I am assuming he is and will, but I could be wrong)? Is there any chance he could be involved in the therapy, since you are already developing into an interpersonal system with him?

Dr. Colby :

I'm going to "save and exit" so I can be sure you get this. Please write back if this sounds good, and then I will release the "accept" button so you can accept if you wish. We can continue to talk whether you do or not; that's up to you.

Dr. Colby :

Hope this makes sense. I really appreciate your willingness to open up as you have.

Customer :

yes there is he is willing to help i just have recently shut him out. he already told me it hasn't changed anything he still love me and wants to marry me. he just isnt full aware of how depressed i get.

Dr. Colby :

Well, there you have it. Your most special resource is willing to be involved. This is very good news. So, I suggest you make initial contact with a therapist by phone, tomorrow, even call 1-3 and find out how they work and if they would be willing to involve your sweetie, too. Consult with him (and do it again, and do it again), and then move toward a decision. Don't let the grass grow under your feet, however! You have made a great start at getting a handle on this thing before it "handles you" (sorry, I pun when it's late).

Let me know if you want more info or discussion. You can always request me by simply putting my name, Dr. Colby, at the start of any message. I'm releasing the "accept" button, now, in case you are feeling like you have a solid plan of action in mind. However, in doing so, I am definitely trying to cut you off.

Customer :

ok thankyou for your help.

Dr. Colby :

Do you have enough of a response, now, or are you wanting more? If so, let me know how, and we will continue?

Dr. Colby :

Well, I haven't heard back, so I am assuming you are feeling clearer, now. If I am wrong, please do not hesitate to reopen the conversation. That's what I (and all of us) are here for. If you want additional information from someone else before doing the "accept" thing, my feelings will not be hurt, believe me. Just indicate you want someone else to respond, and I will "opt out," clearing the way. Otherwise, I have enjoyed the privilege of working with you on this difficult matter ... that is perhaps seeming a little more hopeful, now. Dr. C

Dr. Colby :

If I have provided the help you were seeking, please let me know in a response, here, or press the "accept" button and provide me some feedback about my services. Thanks.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
 
 
 

Related Mental Health Questions

Chat Now With A Mental Health Professional
Dr. Colby
Dr. Colby
Mental Health Professional
85 Satisfied Customers
Licensed psychologist in WA. Areas of practice are clinical psychology, forensic psychology and clinical neuropsychology.