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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
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It has been 2 months and it feels like the break up just happened.

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It has been 2 months and it feels like the break up just happened. Im trying to get over him but it is very difficult. i know that i need to move on but i miss him terribly. How do i move forward? i find myself crying often and feeling so sad.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 2 years ago.

Hi again,

 

Two months is still a relatively short amount of time to heal completely. Try not to tell yourself that it is difficult to get over him but rather that it is a process you're doing your best to go through. When you start to miss him, acknowledge your feelings, mind yourself that what had taken place is in the past now, and mentally allow yourself to remain centered in the present. If you can talk to anyone you trust, do so. It helps to unload once in a while.

 

Another thing that you may do at this stage is to write a good bye letter to him. You do not have to send it. After you complete it, read it and then burn it. As you watch it burn, think about feelings are like the fire. It consumes you at one point and then it can burn out to ashes.

 

The heart and mind need time to move on after a beak up. You've invested a lot of your emotions, time and energy with him and those memories won't just go away. Your goal is not even to have them go away but to rather see them as lessons. You've been hurt and that is another component that you've got to address and accept. If you find yourself being angry or resentful, that would hinder your healing and ability to move on. Try not to give power to what he had done. The reasons behind this as you know are various. Rather remind yourself over and over that now you're in control and you're claiming back your life despite what he'd done or how he is as an individuals.

 

It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

 

How to Mend a Broken Heart: Down-to-earth Relationship Advice on Getting Over a Break Up

Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: PsyD, LPC, CHt
Dr. Rossi and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hello...i finally got the truth as to why he broke our relationship off. a girl called me yesterday. long stroy short she said they had met in August, started dating in November and he proposed to her in December. She called because i called him and he was at her house and she saw that i had called. he had told her that i lied and didnt leave my husband and found out that we were still together so he broke it off but i still call him. totally not true.

who does this? this was totaly crazy. Why didnt he just tell me he had already broke it off. 2 months and he is engaged, his divorce just started. however, his soon to be ex wife became engaged while his fisrt divorce was in the process. also the first wife left him because of him cheating not the other wasy around as what he told me and his new fiance.

im hurt but feel a sense of relief that i was not crazy and imagining and being paranoid, he had me thinking that i was acusing him of things for no reason. even when he had a chance to be truthful he continued to lie. who does this?
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 2 years ago.
You know that past behavior is a decent predictor of future behavior. He was unfaithful to his wife, then to you. It is a rash decision indeed to propose to her 2 months after meeting her. There is a possibility that he is somewhat unstable like in those with bipolar disorder making impulsive decisions and showing erratic behavior.He also was untruthful to this new woman now- the fiance by not telling her what happened b/w the two of you and by telling her something that does not reflect the reality. See, as a result of all of these red flags, you can't personalize his behavior to have been indicated as a personal attach on you. He is doing this to everyone else. And you know that what goes around comes around. Now his fiance has a clear idea of what she's dealing. People like for gain and when they don't have a consciousness i.e sociopaths. Imagine what wold have happened if your relationship w/ him continued on and he was lying and being unfaithful to you then. You would have invested more emotions, more time and trust into him. At least your intuition alerted you that something was off after he suddenly ended the your relationship.
Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: PsyD, LPC, CHt
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