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Kathleen C.
Kathleen C., Addictions Counselor
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 102
Experience:  I am a licensed mental health therapist.
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my wifes sexual past is a turn on for me ,but she doesnt

Resolved Question:

my wifes sexual past is a turn on for me ,but she doesn't want to discuss it am i being unfair asking her about her past
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kathleen C. replied 2 years ago.

Kathleen C. :

Have you discussed your sexual past with her? What was her reaction?

Customer:

she does not want to know my sexual past no i have not discussed it with her but i am willing

Kathleen C. :

Perhaps there is a right time and place for both of you to talk about your pasts and feel comfortable about it. Have you thought of planning a romantic weekend or night for both of you? This may inspire her to become more vocal.

Kathleen C. :

You may want to assure her that her past will not affect how you feel about her. Flowers or a card expressing your love may fit in nicely with your assurances.

Customer:

i will try that do u have a plan b in case that does not work

Customer:

i don,t want to be difficult but do you have any other suggestions

Kathleen C. :

Plan B would be to tell her a little bit more about your past in a non-sexual, non-threatening way, and ask her to do the same for you. You could even make this into a little game...'If I tell you something about me, then it will be your turn to tell me something about you'. When she sees that there is some fun and laughter involved, she may want to take it to a sexual level.

Kathleen C. :

You could even take out the old photograph album you have of yourself, to give it some more interest!

Kathleen C. :

Please click the accept button if you accept this answer. It is the way that I am compensated. Good luck to you with this situation.

Customer:

I am the wife. I am a recovering alcoholic with 24 years of sobriety. My program teaches me not to live in the past. I have no desire to hear the details of his past sexua encounters. we have been married 45 years and he cheated on me several times I can put all that behind me if he would quit bringing it up. My program tells me to live in today. He thinks it turns him on in bed but he is mistaken.

Kathleen C., Addictions Counselor
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 102
Experience: I am a licensed mental health therapist.
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