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AgapeDoc
AgapeDoc, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 197
Experience:  Dr. W. D. Nicholas will help you find solutions to life's challenging issues.
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My 24 yr old daughter is addicted to heroin, meth and pills (oxycodone?). I gave her a cho

Resolved Question:

My 24 yr old daughter is addicted to heroin, meth and pills (oxycodone?). I gave her a choice of detox/treatment or leaving my home. Last Sunday she left, although given her condition at the time, she may not remember much. For myself, I am seeking a reliable info source to deal with the present and the future. For her, I need info on how to get some long term help, should she choose it. I am not financially able to pay for her treatment, nor is she. My most profound fears are that she will support her drug habit by becoming a prostitute and/or die from an overdose or other complications. I asked her to leave because I feel that anything else would be enabling her addiction and ultimately contributing to her demise. I need to know what to expect next and what else I should do
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  AgapeDoc replied 2 years ago.

AgapeDoc :

Thanks for contacting Just Answer...

AgapeDoc :

Let me see if I can help you here....

AgapeDoc :

OK... I have read you post a couple of times and I think I can help.

Customer:

thank you

AgapeDoc :

It is my intention to answer your question and exceed your expectation. If you are satisfied with my efforts will you click on the accept button?

Customer:

of course

Customer:

what are your qualifications?

AgapeDoc :

And...

AgapeDoc :

First of all, I am so sorry you find yourself in this most trying exceedingly difficult situation.

Customer:

it will either get better or worse...

AgapeDoc :

You are right to have the concerns you do regarding her future I am sad to report that I have dealt with all too many clients in similar situations and your fears of course are sadly very legitimate.

AgapeDoc :

You seem like you have looking at your situation with all the logic that I wish others would employ, but I'm sure it takes a terrible toll on your emotions as well....

Customer:

that is the least of my concerns...I will have time latter to sort that out...

AgapeDoc :

Yes, it will get better or worse.... Let's see if we can take some measures to influence it to get better...

AgapeDoc :

You were right to give her the choice to leave or detox, sadly she left.... but...... you have set the standard which will help in the long term and this will be a very long term process....

Customer:

she is an addict and will remain an addict..this I do understand...it is the recovering status that I am hoping for her....to choose

AgapeDoc :

Like most people you are not in a position to afford the kind of treatment that she really needs. So, in the absence of that, it is imperative to get her into the best treatment you can afford and then get her into Narcotics Anonymous (NA)

AgapeDoc :

That is assuming she will go.....

Customer:

what is the kind of treatment she really needs?

Customer:

and how is it different from anything else

Customer:

you are referring to?

AgapeDoc :

There are many kinds of treatment that will work. I'm sure that the treatment programs she has been to or completed are effective - using education and cognitive behavioral therapy or something similar. The issue is the follow up that she has not engaged in.

Customer:

Would a longer period of time in treatment be more effective?

AgapeDoc :

Actually, the key is if she wants to change, then the treatment and then the follow up...

Customer:

That key..if she wants to change, is why she is no longer in my house....so that she has one more reason to reconsider...

Customer:

I know I am not in charge of her life or her choices...

AgapeDoc :

The research doesn't really support that - but I will say that it has long been my belief that treatment such as this should not be a set prescribed time but based on a clients progress - most (or at least many except those for the rich and famous) are set at 28 days and the unrealistic idea is that it will work for everyone the same (doesn't really make sense to me)

Customer:

ok..so maybe a longer treatment time, but lets talk about follow up...

AgapeDoc :

So, the key is if she wants to make changes, get her into some kind of therapy (maybe there is a religious organization nearby that offers something) and then get her into NA and....

Customer:

I offered to move with her to another state for a fresh start...her decline should have been a clue?

AgapeDoc :

NA will be something she goes to the rest of her life (but it will be one day at a time)

Customer:

Also she didi not keep a scheduled follow up meeting...I didn't know about it ....until later.... so she was released from her progra,m

AgapeDoc :

Moving is not the answer - she will take her addictions with her... and there is no place on earth that you can't find illegal drugs :(

Customer:

so from the standpoint of saving her life, there is nothing really that I can do, correct?

Customer:

From the standpoint of arming myself with some tools to support her if she decides to live drug free...what are my resources?

Customer:

I have been to al anon meetings and have not been very impressed...

Customer:

any other suggestions?

AgapeDoc :

I wouldn't say that... you can pray (we both can) and show her tough love (as you have done) and encourage her to follow up with what is necessary. BUT the real decision is ultimately hers.

Customer:

Believe me...I am praying...I have called in all my angels..and borrowed from others to surround and protect her from evi...,

Customer:

what else?

AgapeDoc :

I wouldn't totally give up on al anon. But if you don't find a good group, learn the philosophy and start your own group. I also recommend getting involved with a reputable religious group.

Customer:

I am working on getting myself together,,,

Customer:

so that if I get the opportunity, I can support her choice for recovery...

AgapeDoc :

The most important thing for YOU that will also help HER is a support network. You may find one on meetup.com or if you don't find one you can start one. I'm sure you know that you will have no problem finding others in your situation.... sadly

Customer:

I am looking at an opportunity to participate in a small group though my other daughter's church for parents of drug addicts...is that what you mean?

Customer:

How do you start a group?

AgapeDoc :

That sounds like exactly what I'm talking about :)

Customer:

What do I need to do for training?

AgapeDoc :

On meetup.com you simply pay a very small fee - something like $12 to post a meeting - a face to face meeting... where it will be, what it will be about and etc.

AgapeDoc :

You don't need any training - your training is what you have been through now... you can share experiences, books, ideas, and resources....

Customer:

<--- unwilling veteran sounds like the church small group will be worth exploring

AgapeDoc :

You are miles ahead of most parents I talk to about things like this (as I mentioned above) but no one is immune from the toll it takes - the support network will help you as this continues to unfold. You will find people who are in a worse place and some that have found success...

AgapeDoc :

The church group does sound like it may be the best for you...

Customer:

the elusive sucess story....thats what i want to hear.

Customer:

I have been talking to drug addictts in recovery

AgapeDoc :

The group is where you will find it - and it will be genuine there

Customer:

hoping to hear something that I can put in my little arsenal...

AgapeDoc :

Speaking to drug addicts in recovery is a great idea as well....

Customer:

yeah..you get to hear all the sneaky little stuff..

Customer:

some of it I would have never thought about!

Customer:

the truth is...I know the only answer is to wait and see what she decides...

AgapeDoc :

You are doing an amazing job and I pray that she will make the right choice. If she does make the right choice you have most definitely positioned yourself to help her! God bless you :)

Customer:

and then...give her the same chice I already gave her

AgapeDoc :

Yes....

Customer:

thank you...

Customer:

anything else?

Customer:

no magic?

Customer:

lol

AgapeDoc :

I only wish there was something else.... But I will be praying for you and her

Customer:

thank you! that is worth all to me...

Customer:

want to loan me some of your spare angels to join our host?

AgapeDoc :

Most definitely :)

Customer:

where do you hail from?

AgapeDoc :

Born in Kentucky, but moved to Florida just as soon as I was able :)

Customer:

well..you hold down the SE corner and I'll hold down the W corner...and maybe our bias will prevail!

Customer:

NW corner

AgapeDoc :

Will do. All my best to you and your daughter. All things are possible with God.

Customer:

Thank you for your time and especially your prayers and the loan of your extra angels...I willl send them back to FL when they are done

AgapeDoc, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 197
Experience: Dr. W. D. Nicholas will help you find solutions to life's challenging issues.
AgapeDoc and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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