Kate: Okay. You had suggested support groups, and my therapist recently did
as well. I had already been looking online for a few weeks and registered for one, because I was very curious to see whether others have the same issues as me, what they are doing about it, etc. It's like a forum thing, and there are all sorts of subjects. One ofthe first things is a place to "share your sotry" and get input from other people who have experienced stuff. I cut and paste what I had written you earlier this week (or last week - I don't remember). What people said was kind of interesting. HOWEVER - I got a personal message from someone saying that my ordeal seemed very similar to hers and she wanted to talk. I was kind of shocked but also very curious. I said sure, and gave her my aol IM screen name. We IMed yesterday evening, and she told me her incident involved a number of men over a 48 hour period. She was asking me all these strange questions, and I asked her why, and she said she was trying to figure out if we went to the same college. I said that is doubtful (all I said in the post was that it was a small liberal arts college in the midwest). She then told me where she went - and it is the same college. Then she said she was in a sorority and she said that if the house hadn't moved, we were in the same one -- and she told me what it was. I don't know how she got that from my post.
She is 15 years younger than me, and she said this happened her sophomore year, which would make it about 7-8 years after mine. She didn't know the people. I asked her their ages, and she said they were all older than her, but their ages varied. She said some were in their mid to late 30's. I was just so shocked -- I thought, of course, could this have involved the same people? I told her that if it was the same people, then I was so, so sorry. I don't know what to say.
Then she asked me all sorts of strange questions: what I looked like back then, and a bunch of sexual details (like how many times the guys climaxed, etc.). I got really uncomfortable. I wsa at work and told her i had to go, and she said "please don't - I want to talk some more" and continued with the weird stuff, and told me "I won't be here later."
I don't know why, but this all made the hairs on my neck stand up. It totally freaked me out. I reread my post, and I don't see how in the world anyone -- even someone who went to that school - could guess where it was or what sorority I was in (there are 3 sorority houses on that street). Plus -- this school has like 2500 students at one time, and is one of hundreds of small schools i nthat state alone. The sorority only probably has 60-75 members at any one time. What are the chances that she makes this connection when I'm on there a week or less? Now she has sent me 2 more messages, basically really pissed because I never came back on and spoke to her.
I don't know what to think. If this is legit and it involved the same guys, I feel absolutely terrible. But I still don't see how she could have figured out where I was talking about. The only way anyone would know, I think, is if they knew it was me from the details of the story - but hardly anybody knows. And the stuff they did to me was not like what she said was done to her, from what she said, so it'd not like she could have seen similarities there. It really frightened me. Do you have any clue what might be going on? I don't want to be mean to this girl if it is legit -- especially if this happened to her because I didn't report mine. But I feel like something is wrong with this whole thing. And the way she was commenting and asking these questions, it seemed like more something a guy would ask - like she was getting off on it almost (or wanted to) -- Could that be just because she has issues with sex, maybe different? Or could this not be a girl?? I went in and erased my post, and blocked her on my IM, but I am not sure what to think.