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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5467
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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When a kid just wants to play with his friend all day and all

Resolved Question:

When a kid just wants to play with his friend all day and all night or just want to call, call, call and talk over the phone with his friend all day and all night or just wants to go out with his friend all day and all night to the point where his/her friend sees him/her as a leech and doesn't want to be friends anymore, is there a psychological condition behind the kid's obsession to just want to socialize all of the time?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Relist: Other.
It seems like no mental health experts want to answer my questions. What's going on?
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

Can you tell me the age of this child and a little bit about his family situation?

 

Thanks,

Kate

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
He is 11. His family's situation is that his family is a good family and they love him, but the child is the type of person that believes in appreciating your loved ones everyday. I don't know if you have ever seen the show called Crossing Over and the host was XXXXX XXXXX, I think, and he would always say at the end of the show to love and appreciate those in your life everyday so that you won't one day have to see him. Well, this child follows that advice. He likes to give a hug and a kiss and encouraging words like an I Love You to his loved ones everyday, but I think his family are more of the type that blush and get embarrassed with things like that, so they brush him away. When he visits his grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins, he wants to play with and hug his baby cousins, and he is told by his parents, grandparents, uncles, or aunts "Leave him/her alone."
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

There could be a few possibilities as to why this child is being this affectionate with others.

 

One, it could be his personality. Some people are comfortable with touching others and expressing their feelings in a forward way. They will hug, kiss and tell someone they love them, even if it's considered inappropriate in the environment they live in.

 

Two, it could be that no one is setting boundaries for the child. Some parents do not believe in setting boundaries or are misinformed about how boundaries should be set for children. They may believe that a child is most loved if they are allowed to express themselves any way they see fit. Or they may not know how to set boundaries.

 

Three, he may be missing the affection he needs from his family. His family might not believe that being affectionate with a child is appropriate or he could be abused at home and has unmet needs, so he is reaching out to others in an attempt to get his needs met.

 

It is also important that this child have a balance of emotions. If he is always affectionate, happy and loving and never cries, gets upset or is discouraged, he may have something going on psychologically that needs addressed. It could be a personality issue or an emotional problem or even a brain chemical imbalance that is causing how he feels. But an evaluation would be necessary to pinpoint all the symptoms and narrow down what the cause should be. His school counselor or pediatrician can help with a referral to a child psychologist if it is necessary.

 

If there are no underlying psychological issues, then setting some boundaries with this child is important. While you don't want to suppress his affection for others, he does need to know that there are limits. It is unsafe for him to approach adults he does not know because they may hurt him. He also should be made aware of other people's reactions to his affectionate nature. He may need to be taught that he needs to ask permission to hug others or to touch them. Learning about personal space is important. He may frighten other kids or make them angry if he approaches them too quickly or does not respect their personal space.

 

I hope this has helped you,
Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5467
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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