Have Mental Health Questions? Ask a Psychiatrist Online
Welcome, I am a professional counselor and behavioral-consultant.....
I'm very sorry to hear that you are going through this right now...do you mind telling me a bit more about the problem you're describing?
You show here as typing still so I'm just waiting for your next response.
I think that the most important step here is to get a very clear understanding of what your wife needs from the relationship that she is not getting right now. There may have been some emotional injury over time during all the stress you've described. The best available relationship science and marital therapy research tells us that a spouse can begin to disconnect emotionally when important relationship needs are not met over time. Many people don't even know what they really need or needed from a relationship so they don't know how to ask clearly.
I've worked with many couples where one partner experiences this kind of emotional disconnection and were unaware of why. It often takes a few sessions of counseling to really find out what is missing and why....
In a smaller number of cases, there can be other problems like depression that cause a dampening of the couple's emotional connection.
Is there anyway that you can get to couples counseling with your wife?
A good evidence-based couples counselor will be able to screen your wife for things like depression and help you guys to figure out what went wrong and to repair any emotional injuries or disconnections that have taken place over time.
I would suggest EFT for couples if possible. It's the best available couples therapy and gets the best most lasting results, usually in an average of 9 sessions. Let me get you some links...
Here's the international find a therapist page:
One last suggestion would be to set up a few date nights to read the following book together: http://www.holdmetight.net/index.php
It's easy to read and actually guides the couple through a structured conversation that focuses on the couples emotional connection and relationship needs. There are questions at the end of each short chapter. I recommend that couples take turns reading a chapter to each other and answering the questions together at the end of each chapter over a week or so. You can usually find the book in your local library.
You might also want to make sure that your wife sees your family doctor if you don't go to couple's counseling to rule out any medical issues like clinical depression.
Does that make sense?
Your very welcome. Please don't forget to press the green "Accept" button if you are satisfied with my answer. I wish you and your family the very best!