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Ask Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC Your Own ...

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5450
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC is online now
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Hi Kate, My appt went pretty good last Friday. She is leaving

Resolved Question:

Hi Kate,

My appt went pretty good last Friday. She is leaving the other program she suggested to me totally up to me to decide upon. She is happy that I was able to work independently on some of the things we talked about in our session. So you were certainly right on that point. Most points actually.

Today has been difficult for me. I don't know why and doubt it matters. My daughter is pre-teen and sometimes doesn't always say or do the right things toward me. Nothing horrid. But when I'm not feeling great to begin with, I just don't seem to handle it the best way possible. Or at least this is what I think.

Also, my therapist suggested a few weeks ago that perhaps doing a collage may help me with my tough feelings. So I did do one a week or so back but when I brought it to show her last week, she surprised me by saying that it was an exercise for me to do on my own so therefore I did not need to show her. It was how I felt at the time and I got it out. Do you agree with this? I'm not sure I do. Or should I even care? I don't know.

I never got to read my letter as there wasn't enough time but I did tell her about it. I explained that I was expecting any specific reaction from her and that I just wanted to share with her how badly and enveloped in sadness that I somehow become. I'm not sure she knows the depth of it. Hopefully she will okay with it although I am a little afraid.

Kathy
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

Hi Kathy,

 

Sometimes pre teens and teens can be impulsive with what they say. I have two myself and sometimes it is shocking what comes out of their mouths. They do not mean harm, they just don't know how to balance their hormones, adult feelings and child behaviors. They also don't have the ability to think things through like adults do.

 

The best thing to do if you feel hurt by something your daughter says is walk away for a few minutes. Get your bearings then return and let her know you feel hurt by whatever it is she said. Tell her calmly and gently. Kids usually feel bad once you let them know how you feel. It can turn out to be a way to bond when you talk about how you feel with your daughter.

 

I am a little surprised your therapist did not want to see your collage. I would think that it would help her help you with how you feel. Although she may have originally meant for you to do the collage at home for yourself, sharing it with her could only help. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding on her part.

 

I hope she responds well to your letter. You have given her a heads up about it so that should help. But be prepared for however she may react. What if she does react with indifference? How will you feel? What if she wants to discuss it at length? Think through all the possibilities so you are prepared. That will help you.

 

Let me know how it goes,

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5450
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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