I do tend to say hateful things when I get angry. This is not new. I can get very angry and have done so for most of my life. I do see a therapist who has helped me greatly. She is not in my health plan anymore though. I am 61. I take Wellbutrin. I think it's 300 mg. I have been on this for quite some time.
A little more info. My husband of 30 years died in 1997. I had a grandson die in 2000 just 32 hours after birth. I was laid off from my job in 2009; lost my home and was financially taken advantage of by a man who now owes me $10,000. He is paying me little by little. I have had lots going on in my life. I want to see if I can stop this nasty name calling. This man I am with now is so great to me. I don't work. He pays all the bills. I buy food and he gives me money. He is wonderful to me. I just don't want to hurt him like this because I don't mean it.