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MN Psychiatrist
MN Psychiatrist, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 792
Experience:  Physician for 17 years, adult psychiatrist for 13 years working with a wide variety of patients.
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I just typed my questions and sent it. Its about getting

Resolved Question:

I just typed my questions and sent it. It's about getting angry at my fiance and calling him names. Before I retype the whole question, has anyone received it?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  MN Psychiatrist replied 4 years ago.
Hello, I am a psychiatrist.
I got this question, but nothing previous. I looked on the list of all questions and didn't seen any others with your username either, but I'm glad to be of help if you could ask them again. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
I am a widow and have fallen in love, and am engaged to, a 61 year old man who has been divorced twice. I know I have an anger issue. However, when I am angry it seems I lose control and call him names such as "ass," "nasty and mean". The other day we had a disagreement. He went to the gym and I went out. I thought we both had time to cool off. I made dinner and called to see if he was coming home to eat. He said yes. He came home and dinner was on the table. Just when we were about to eat the food, he asked who made the food. I said I did. He answered with, "Well, I can't eat this because you get mad when I eat dinner and you have cooked it." It was the craziest thing I have ever heard. It stems from the night before. He gets upset when you talk to him when he is watching tv. He cannot multi-task. I was watching tv the night before (it was 9 pm). He had fallen asleep and woke up and was hungry. There was 5 minutes left and I got a little upset and said ok, I'll make you dinner but I am watching tv and it's over in 5 minutes. This is where that comment stems from. Anyway, I got very upset with him. I had a bottle of bbq sauce and it looked like I threw it but it actually slipped out of my hand. It went on his jeans and all over the place. I cleaned it up and went upstairs, packed a bag, and said I was leaving. I actually went to get a cup of coffee. I asked him why he was being so mean by saying something like that. The man had 7 bypasses in August and I nourished him back to health. I was at his bedside night and day. So this morning (at 2 am) he was tossing and turning in bed. He moved all the covers by me and when I rolled over I asked what was going on. He got upset, jumped out of bed and put his robe on and went downstairs. I followed him and wanted to know what was going on. I told him he was a "f" liar and that he was mean and nasty. He is not mean. He is not nasty. He never lies. Is there anything I can do to stop being so verbal with him. I don't mean it and it is very upsetting to both of us. He told me he was extremely disappointed in me. I asked if he wanted me to move out and he just tells me that that is my decision. I can stay here as long as I want. What gives here?
Expert:  MN Psychiatrist replied 4 years ago.
I see. That's very helpful information. For me to best answer this, I just need to know if you have always tended to say such things when angry, or if this is more recent? Do you have a history of anger problems (or any mental health problems)? How old are you? Lastly, do you take any medications, whatsoever? If so, what are they and their doses. I'm asking because certain medications can absolutely cause or worsen anger issues.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I do tend to say hateful things when I get angry. This is not new. I can get very angry and have done so for most of my life. I do see a therapist who has helped me greatly. She is not in my health plan anymore though. I am 61. I take Wellbutrin. I think it's 300 mg. I have been on this for quite some time.

 

A little more info. My husband of 30 years died in 1997. I had a grandson die in 2000 just 32 hours after birth. I was laid off from my job in 2009; lost my home and was financially taken advantage of by a man who now owes me $10,000. He is paying me little by little. I have had lots going on in my life. I want to see if I can stop this nasty name calling. This man I am with now is so great to me. I don't work. He pays all the bills. I buy food and he gives me money. He is wonderful to me. I just don't want to hurt him like this because I don't mean it.

Expert:  MN Psychiatrist replied 4 years ago.
This is helpful.
Wellbutrin is absolutely a medication that can make people irritable, edgy, aggressive, and quick-to-anger. If you have a history of having a sharp temper, the absolutely first place to start is with getting off of the Wellbutrin. Really. If you are taking it for help with depression and need to be on something for help with that, a much better choice for helping curb your emotional reactivity while treating your depression would be any of the SSRI (serotonin) antidepressants. An alternative would be to stay ion the Wellbutrin and add in some Neurontin, which is often helpful for decreasing people's emotional reactivity, but it is better to switch from the Wellbutrin to an SSRI.
Does this make sense? If it doesn't,please ask for clarification because this is likely quite fixable.
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