In my experience, people have had good reactions to Celexa. It is a newer SSRI which helps increase the serotonin in the brain, which helps you feel less depressed.
Most people who have reactions to other SSRI's seem to like Celexa. It does take the medication a while to start working. It may take up to several weeks to have the full effect in your blood stream. You may also feel worse before you feel better, since the side effects, if you are going to have any, start to show up before the medication starts to work at full effect. But if you can wait it out, the medication will eventually begin to work and the side effects will lessen or diminish.
It also helped some people lose weight. Studies have showed that up to 1 percent of patients experienced weight loss with this medication.
Give it time to see if it works for you. Everyone reacts differently to medications due to the differences in body chemistry. You will know in a few weeks if this medication will work for you.
It is terribly frustrating to try to lose weight when you have worked so hard at it and have not been successful. Keep in mind, you are trying. That is what matters. You may not have found the answer right now, but you will. And it will be from trying so hard. You are searching all the time and that means a lot.
Try not to compare yourself to others. That may only add to your frustrations and any bad feelings you have about yourself. Yes, there are some people who do not have to worry about weight, but they are very few and far between. Most of us do. And the things others do to stay a "normal" weight are drastic. I know because I hear them all the time. Many have eating disorders, starve themselves, exercise excessively and treat their bodies horribly. That is not the way to go. You never know the story behind someone's life. All you can see is what they choose to show you.
Zoloft is a very popular medication. Many people can use it without too many side effects. If you found it helpful before, you may want to ask your doctor about it. But you may also want to give the Celexa a chance to work. Medication reacts differently for everyone. So the Celexa may work sooner for you than someone else and it may help you a lot.
Good for you that you quit drinking alcohol. That was a healthy step to take.
Talking about your emotions related to weight loss is very healthy. There is nothing wrong with being frustrated and angry. Expressing these feelings can make you feel more real about your struggle and help motivate you to try to lose weight.
Have you made a list of the things you have tried? Making a list will help you see what you have tried, for how long and whether or not you felt it helped at all. If you can combine two things you tried that each helped you a little, you may be able to lose more weight that way.
I don't recall if we talked about you having your thyroid checked by your doctor. When you can't lose weight no matter what you try, physical issues should be ruled out. You may not even know you have a thyroid problem so if you have not yet had it checked, you may want to try seeing your doctor.
I imagine that before your gastro bypass surgery, the doctors tested you for everything including thyroid. But since then you might have developed a problem so it may be a good idea to test again. It's up to you. I was thinking that it would be a good reason for your weight gain if you are eating well but still gaining weight.
Let me know how the search goes for a group. Hopefully, you will be able to find one that works for you.
It sounds to me like your metabolism is not high at all. If you are that cold all the time, your body is not burning enough energy, which means your metabolism is low. I am not a doctor, so I cannot say this for sure, but it certainly is reasonable to check it out. I am not familiar with any metabolism disorders, but your doctor may be able to help.
I can't recall if we talked about how much you exercise or if you can at all with your health issues. Exercise would raise your metabolism, maybe not as much as it needs to be but more than it is now.
It is very understandable that you feel angry about this issue. You are making the effort and putting the energy into making a change and it's not happening. Part of the issue is the lack of explanation as to why this is happening. From the symptoms you describe, your weight issue could be physical and/or emotional. There is no way to know for sure until we explore this more.
Emotionally, support and motivation are the two key components to weight loss. People find the support of others helpful so they do not easily cheat and so they have someone to share the struggles with and understand their emotional needs. Motivation, which you certainly have already, helps keep you going when the struggle is difficult.
How did your search for a group go? I hope you were able to find a group that works for you. Are you also continuing to write down what you eat, including the emotions you feel when you eat? That will help you keep track of any emotional reasons for your eating and weight issues and give us a better idea of the emotional reasons you eat.
Low metabolism can be a big factor in weight gain. The trick then becomes trying to boost your metabolism in order to offset the food you eat. I still would try talking to your doctor just to rule out any type of disorder you can have that would cause weight gain. Just in case.
You do exercise a lot! Even if it is not helping you lose weight, it may be helping you maintain where you are. And it is having a positive effect on your health. The more moving you do the better, as you know.
It sounds like the main issue for you is to how to stop overeating. I agree, smoking and being in love are both great for reducing your appetite significantly. But although you can smoke if you choose, being in love is a short term solution that will not last (though it is quite appealing!).
You mentioned feeling abandoned and alone in life. This is significant because feeling this way can cause you to want to fill the emptiness inside with food. Food is the ultimate comfort. It tastes good, you can make it to appeal to you, it doesn't argue with you and it makes you feel full inside. You are satisfied and happy. It provides instant gratification. That is hard to resist when you feel sad or lonely.
Focusing on what is making you feel alone and abandoned can be the answer to why you want to eat more than you need. Keeping the food journal can help with pinpointing when you feel the most alone and help you get more in touch with your triggers. The other half of that is finding a way to fulfill your needs in a different way besides food.
You can also try doing a check before you eat. Ask yourself if you are truly hungry or feeling upset instead. It may be hard the first few times because right now, they may feel the same to you. But if you keep doing it, after a while you will begin to recognize the difference.
Keep a list of activities that will be fun enough to occupy you if you want to eat without being hungry. A hobby, craft, a favorite book, TV show (on DVD so you aren't bothered with all those food commercials), calling a friend, etc.
Try keeping only healthy foods in your home. Splurge on cut up carrots from the store, premade fruit trays, cubed chicken and low fat foods.
Buy skim milk (or 1% if skim doesn't appeal) and keep lots of water and low calorie drinks on hand. The idea is to keep you hydrated so you feel less hunger. When you are thirsty it is easy to think you are hungry.
Most of all, keep track of how you are feeling during the day. Keep the journal or diary, talk to someone, join a group, etc. Being more in tune with how you feel and having support are the two best ways to address emotional eating.
Problems with weight can either be physical or emotional (or both). If you have ruled out physical reasons, the only thing you have left to explore is emotional. If all of your family was overweight, that does point to some of the issue being about genetics. The rest could be emotional.
As you described your relationships with your children, I began to wonder about how you handle your pain. Broken family relationships can make you feel sad and lonely. You said that your weight problems began before you had kids, but there could be a pattern to how you deal with the emotional stressors in your life. Do you feel you hold in your feelings? I know you have mentioned anger before. How do you usually express your anger? How often do you feel angry? Is it usually your first response to something that happens or do you feel it later? If it is not your first response, what is?
Also, during your childhood, were there any incidents that caused you pain? We did talk about this before, but maybe if we explore it more, we can find out what triggered your feelings around the age of 16 to make you eat more.
Diet is important when trying to eat better, but that does not mean you need to deprive yourself. You probably have already tried this, but overeating things like vegetables so you feel full and not deprived is the best way to lose. And having that Twinkle as a dessert is not so bad if you ate the large salad sans dressing. I'm not sure of what you have tried so I threw that out there.
Thank you for being so kind about compensation. I always appreciate it. You can always accept the first answer then ask me another question on the same thread. I will get the response you post. You can keep the same thread for a few questions and pay as you go along or start a new one. Either way, your response pops up on my email so I get it.
If the doctor you have now is not listening to you, it may be time to change doctors. A doctor that won't listen is probably missing vital information that only you can tell him/her about your own health. Missed information means missed health issues. And if you are struggling with trying to find out why you can't lose weight, a doctor who won't listen is not helping you. You need someone who will work with you.
If it is not past emotional pain or current issues that are creating your need to eat, then there is something else going on. You did mention needing to control your eating, especially with carbohydrates like bagels and pasta. They can make you gain as much as sugar treats can. But trying to control something may make you want it more. You may want to try letting go of the idea of controlling your diet and try approaching it with everything in moderation. Or even give yourself permission to eat anything but make yourself stop when you feel full. Use pre set amounts of food by weighting what you eat or measuring out only certain amounts. Make sure you fill your plate with at least 2/3 of vegetables and/or fruits then whatever you crave on the rest of the plate.
Be sure you are getting enough water. Hydration is a key factor in losing weight. If you have given up alcohol, that is a big change. You can substitute the alcohol with water now. Keep a glass or bottle of water on hand at all times. Drink before you eat anything.
If you do not feel any of your overeating is emotionally driven, then we are probably looking at behavioral eating. In order to change your behavior, you will have to be self motivated. It is ok to take time to make slow changes in order to make the changes work. A new behavior takes about two months to become accustomed to. That means you will have good days and bad days before you can change your behavior enough so you have mostly good days.
You need to look at the triggers around you that cause you to eat. Do you typically have a large Sunday meal with family? This can be a trigger for you to eat more than you normally would. Some people find the weekends a big trigger. They relax more on the weekends, attend parties and exercise less. That can all add up to weight gain.
If you have not tried behavioral based weight loss, we can work on ways you can change so you have more control over your weight. Developing a program that works for you can change how you eat and the weight will come off.
You are in no way wasting my time with this. I want to be here for you and figure this out so you can have a better life. I am here as long as you need me.
We have been talking for a while now and the one thing that does stand out to me no matter what we discuss is the number of contradictions in your life. We talked about emotional pain and you mentioned that you felt you did not have any in your childhood but there was some in your adult life. But you do not feel that impacts your eating habits. Then you mentioned feeling sad and lonely, but then you say you feel fine now. There are issues with your children and on one hand you mention feeling that it is the worst pain you have ever had then you say that they kids are on their own now and that is ok with you.
You also mention your husband disappearing for a month but don't discuss any marital issues that may have caused the situation and therefore may effect your overeating/ weight.
You also talk about your eating habits. You mention that you eat well, love vegetables and fruits and eat very little. Then you mention a craving for carbs that you cannot control. You are interested in groups that help with overeating, but you say you do not overeat.
These are some of the examples of the contradictions. In therapy, when someone gives many contradictions, there is a reason for it. Usually, it means there is trauma that occurred in the person's life that they have dealt with by avoiding through rationalizing or repressing the thoughts, emotions and even memories of the event. They may deal with the pain through avoiding the event that caused the pain in the first place, burying it and working around it. So the presently issue, like overeating, is just a symptom of the real issue that is being repressed.
If you have explored any possible physical issue that medical science can be aware of at this point and you have tried diets and other options and still have an issue, then there is something going on emotionally/ behaviorally. And from a psychological point of view, that usually means there is a deeper emotional issue that is driving your need to eat, whether or are aware of how much you are eating or not or even aware of the issue itself.
When someone suffers a trauma, it can shock the person so badly that they cope by instantly burying it. They use psychological coping, called defense mechanisms, to deal with the related feelings. The fact that you recall when your overeating began may mean that the trauma occurred somewhere near that time frame in your life. And the number of emotional stresses you have suffered since then with your marriage (or marriages since you mentioned "one husband told me" which would imply more than one husband), your children leaving home at an early age, and the subsequent stress of your daughter's condition all can have a huge effect on you. You seem to block these things out and keep them at a distance. That tells me that you have practice in dealing with emotional trauma of some type. Also, your children leaving home early on may indicate that there were stressors in your home while they were growing up, possible abuse of you or them, that point to past issues as well.
As a therapist, I can only go on what you tell me. But from talking you and thinking about all you have written, there is something more here than we have talked about. If you have suffered a trauma, it would be very normal for you to feel extremely frightened about facing it. And memory loss is common as well as behavior that seems to have no rational cause, such as overeating.
I am definitely interested in working on this with you. You and I can work on what may be happening and I can give you support no matter what you decide. But you may also want to consider seeing a therapist face to face so you can talk more in depth about what might be behind the overeating and other emotional issues. A therapist can find out if there might be a diagnosis and provide you with a treatment that can get to the root of the problem. I can help you find a therapist if you want. But by seeing someone, they can provide the environment that you need to explore the past and face any trauma you suffered. You will need that kind of support to cope with anything you find out.
Let me know what you think,
I think it is important that we talk a bit about these emotionally difficult times in your life to get a better idea of some of the issues behind them and how they affected you. Though I understand your feelings about your weight issues, there is not enough there to explain why you continue to have problems with your weight. And we have eliminated all possible answers except one: emotional difficulties.
Your daughter running away was a huge factor in your life.
What do you feel caused her to leave and how did you get her back?
How was her relationship with you?
How was her relationship with her father?
You said you had two children with your first husband and you talk about your daughter.
What happened with your other child?
You mentioned many marriages.
What do you feel caused the marriages to fail?
Did any of them involve abuse or drugs and alcohol?
You said the divorces where necessary. How so?
You talked about how you feel you failed your adopted children.
There seems to be no problems with them so how do you feel you failed them?
What do you feel was the main issues with their upbringing you were concerned about?
If we can take a look at some of these incidents in your life, we may be able to pinpoint what is causing you to overeat and what your triggers are.
If you feel your issue with weight is physical, a doctor is best suited to help you. I know you mentioned that the doctor you currently have is not helpful, so changing doctors is the best option there. The risk of taking the thyroid medication is something a doctor can help you decide along the balance of risking a stroke with help maintaining a healthy weight. Maybe they have come up with better medication since you last tried or there are alternative medications.
Since I must stay within my field of expertise, the only aspect of your issue I can help you with is any emotional issues you may have related to your weight gain. While there is no therapist worth their salt that would help you find a way to severely deprive yourself of food, the only other option is finding an emotional trigger or issue that prevents you from losing weight. Since you say there is no emotional issues, I'm not sure where we can go at this point. It's not that I don't want to help, I do, very much so. But there also needs to be something to go on for us to resolve together. And right now, you are saying there isn't anything we can work on.
If there are no emotional issues to work on, your best bet is to explore the physical side of your weight problem. Along with finding a doctor who can work with you, you may even want to try a dietitian or other professional within the weight loss field. They would have the background and expertise to find answers to your problem from a physical point of view.
The article in WebMD is interesting and I agree with what it has to say. Their solution is to watch what you eat and exercise as much as you can. It is all you can do if you cannot find any other answers. Studies do show that exercising even if you aren't able to lose weight still helps you stay healthier than if you did not do anything at all.
You may want to check with your doctor about your diet. Restricting yourself to water, Jello, and tea is not going to be enough nutrients to help you stay alive. Your body needs more than that to survive. If you continued to eat like that, you would starve to death from lack of nutrients.
And emotionally, the strain of trying a diet like that is going to take a toll on you. You would have to find a way to deny your body's cravings, which would take more enormous emotional strength that most people have. Those that do are considered anorexic, which as you know is a dangerous condition. Also, the stress would affect other parts of your life, with your weight being the center focus of your life all the time.
There needs to be some sort of balance for you between how much you eat, why you eat and the consequences of that eating. You may have to accept being a little overweight. Making your goals a little less intense could help you a lot. Writing down what you eat remains the best way to figure this out.
I simply meant that you could not keep a diet up of only tea, Jello and water for very long. It may be ok for a month or two (not great health wise but it's an option) but not for the long haul. I don't think any doctor in their right mind would agree that a diet like that would keep you alive for very long.
I can hear your frustration with your weight. It's all through your life and a focus of your thoughts everyday. It bothers you to the point that it has become your life. And I understand that. Whenever there is an unsolvable problem like this, it is normal to feel preoccupied with it until you can resolve it.
You mention that you have tried all diets, doctors and other weight loss options. Writing down what you eat doesn't work and relying on programs doesn't work. You feel you eat well and your husband is supportive of what you are doing. You feel there are programs that did help, but the people involved are no longer around so you cannot get help there.
I am sorry there are no options for you. Being an emotional eater is very hard because emotions are with us all day every day. And you certainly cannot live in constant highs and lows every day to the extreme that it would take to help you lose weight. Being in that condition day and night would wear on you emotionally until you broke.
If there are no other doctors, programs or options for you that you feel would help, the best I can offer is to keep trying. I know that sounds discouraging. But talking about this seems to help you, at least with your frustration, and since giving up only means that you will not find the answer you are looking for, I encourage you to keep going. Talk to whomever you can find who you feel will listen and who might be able to help. And if you ever hear of a new doctor or program you feel might offer you hope, try it. Keep walking, exercising and trying to restrict your eating as much as you can, balancing your health with diet. Not giving up will at least provide you with hope, which can be vital to your emotional health.
This is not easy, but I think you are doing what you can to help yourself. Hang in there, you will find an answer someday.