There is nothing wrong with you except your thoughts. When you were out today, you sounded as if you were having a nice time. You enjoyed your tea then decided to look at some clothes, which sounds very nice. It was there that you had thoughts about yourself and became depressed again. Before that, you were making progress. So you did accomplish something today.
Next time you have thoughts like that, stop yourself. Put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it or practice saying "stop it" in your mind. You can also write something small on your arm or palm, something like No or Stop It. Before you do these thought stopping ideas, make up a list of thoughts you can replace your bad thoughts with. For example, when you think "I am fat, ugly and pathetic" say stop to yourself then think of the last compliment you got from someone. Replace your bad thought with this new thought. This will make it hard to feel the depression that comes with thinking something bad.
If you feel so bad that sleeping is the only thing you want to do, try sleeping for a limited period of time. Then get yourself back up again. That will provide you with a break from your feelings but also prevent you from slipping into a sleep to avoid pattern.
Okay I will try your suggestions. I just wish I could feel a bit more happiness. To me the world is a sad place to be in right now. I see other people laughing and enjoying themselves and wish I was them.
What happens if I never get to that point? What if I am stuck with these horrible feelings for the rest of my life? I wouldn't be able to handle that.
Thanks as always Kate. You are always there to help weather the storm.
I know that it is hard to do these things when you don't feel them, Kathy. It is difficult to face going through the motions and trying day after day. But it is like learning how to ride a bike, you just have to do it even if you think you can't. Once you can get into a rhythm of thinking the good thoughts, your feelings will follow your behavior.
Try not to look at everyone else and what they have. That is a sure way of making yourself feel worse and keeping you down. Besides, they may look happy but some people are good at putting on a face for everyone. You never know what they are going through behind all that laughter. Everyone has problems and no one lives a perfect life.
I am always glad to be here for you, Kathy no matter what.