She hasn't learned how to effectively communicate, share conversations, etc. What I would do is suggest to her that you believe your marriage is deteriorating because of your style of communicating together and that you want to ask a marriage therapist to help you learn to communicate differently together. Now, she is probably clinically depressed or has features of what we call a personality disorder, and these might be detected in therapy. A good therapist might then suggest some individual therapy for her if they detect that she has some serious, personal issues that are getting in the way of the marriage therapy.
If she resists the idea of marital therapy, you know she: 1) doesn't want the marriage to get better or has something to gain by living her life in the role of VICTIM---externalizing blame for her unhappiness onto everyone else: 2) is in fact, fearful that some responsibility for the marital problems will be placed on her and doesn't want to deal with that stress
or the responsibility of change: or 3) is afraid she will be made out to be a 'bad' or 'mentally ill' person in therapy and fears that.
Another alternative is to try to suggest she see a clinical or counseling psychologist for herself. During the course of your interactions, she will not only direct her anger and unhappiness AT you, she will also complain about HER personal or emotional situation, the way 'you' are supposedly 'causing' her to feel, react, act etc. You can simply offer the suggestion, "You seem to be mad at me a lot and I've concluded you could be depressed because of the stress you experience in this marriage. Here are the names of a couple of experts that I know could help you deal with the ways that your relationship with me is causing you to be upset so often, help you figure out how to feel less angry". And you would have already looked up the names of a couple of clinical or counseling psychologists in your town, preferably women.
If she will have none of this--rejects all of these suggestions, then you have to accept the fact that you are living with someone who doesn't change. You can THEN, try to create a serious, emotional crisis for her by suggesting that you no longer want to stay with her and do anything to contribute to your communication problems because your interactions are becoming more and more toxic and constructive and that you want to experiment with a trial separation to 'figure out what to do next'. This threat to the existence of the relationship (she will infer that you may be moving to divorce her) can very often cause a spouse to agree to therapy. There aren't any good ways you, yourself can change the way you interact with her because it 'takes two' to make these changes and your wife has to agree to this basic concept and work with you.
I hope this information is helpful to you. Please click on the green Accept button at the bottom of the screen. Get back to me if I have overlooked any aspect of your original question. Thanks.