I'd talk to my wife about giving up alcohol and get her thoughts on it. It is always very, very helpful to know you have loved one's supporting you when you proceed to make a big change in behavior.
The 5-6 guys who went to the bar with you---do you know if they go often, and are they too married? The odds of their saying anything are very low; sort of the like the Las Vegas rule among most men---what you do there stays there; so there is sort of an unwritten code of silence among men regarding activity in strip clubs. Everyone knows what they are there for and what the risks are, and that there is prostitution going on. How well do you know the other 5-6 guys? The odds are that if they are married as well, and go to strip clubs regularly, they have or will, probably do something that their wives would be very, very hurt by, whether it is interactions with a dancer or paying for a lap dance, etc.
hence, the code of silence about strip clubs among guys. What goes around could come around, so to speak, so no one typically, talks or gossips. Furthermore, guys almost never talk to their wives about what other guys do at strip clubs
, because this in turn, alarms their wives about the risk their own husbands face in going to strip clubs. Their immediate response to hearing what their husband tells them another married guy did is----"o.k., YOU are DONE going to strip clubs (they figure their own husband will act out, given enough alcohol and the right stripper). So guys don't want their wives telling them they can never go to a strip club, nor do they even want to put themselves in a position of having an argument over it; they tend to quietly, sneakily go and never even tell their wives. Now, I'd make sure you don't create an enemy relationship with one of the 5-6 guys.
Your guilt, anxiety
and sleeplessness about this is actually a healthy thing because it shows you know you did wrong and you really should find a way of quietly, privately making it up to your wife as I suggested in the last post.
And, what if is she hears a story? 'm not sure whether it would be worse if your wife heard a story about your behavior about the strip club from someone versus telling her yourself. Certainly, if you want to confess to her, go ahead, but I wouldn't recommend it. Now, consider exactly what she might hear from someone? What details exactly would she hear? If she heard any distressing story, I would tell her that you got drunk, perhaps acted inappropriately with one of the dancers, but were too intoxicated to remember anything about that outing. But because you know you shouldn't have been in the strip bar anyway, you've given up drinking altogether
. Now, if you have a track record of having given up drinking AND she then hears a story in say, 1-2 years, she will almost certainly believe you feel badly or embarrassed about what you did----having not consumed alcohol for the 1-2 years proves it and likely shows you don't intend to do that scenario again! You can also simply tell her that you were too ashamed to even mention the event to her and given the fact that you had no details to recall, you decided to not bring it up---but to stop drinking and going to strip clubs.
But again, you DO need to get tested to eliminate this worry and risk. I hope you haven't had sex with your wife since you went to the strip club, if you had poorly protected sex (?)
What do you think?