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TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5770
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Hi Kate, Ive been up half the night and then early this

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Hi Kate,

I've been up half the night and then early this morning. For some reason I am having a lot of difficulty climbing out of my hole. I know I shiould have done of the things I know that will help me or those that you gave me but I had no motivation or drive to do so.

I just feel hopeless. I always had a sliver of hope that things would turn around for me but now I am doubting that. It is such an uphill climb. Plus I doubt one can ever forget about being assaulted twice. I'm supposed to learn to live with it right? But I don't think I can.

Kathy

Kathy,

 

It is easy to get into feeling down and let it perpetuate itself. The trick with feeling better is to do things to help yourself even when you don't feel like you can. Going through the motions is sometimes what it takes to bring your feelings out and make you feel better, even if the feelings are not there initially.

 

Motivation is not always there for the things you need to do. For example, paying bills is never easy. I don't think I know anyone that goes, "It's going to be a great day! I am going to pay my bills and take the trash out. Yippee!". But if it needs done, you do it anyway. Trying to make it easier on yourself by making it as pleasant as you can will make a difficult task seem better.

 

Take steps to do something that will help. If your goal is exercise don't think of the whole goal at once. Otherwise, you won't do it. Think about getting your coat on. Once you do that, think about collecting your keys. As an incentive, make yourself a cup of tea or coffee to take with you, something you really enjoy. Then focus on just getting out the door. If you even just accomplish that much, it is much better than staying where you are feeling bad you can't do anything.

 

You do not have to accept that you were attacked two times. That is not something that you can just accept. But what you can do is realize it happened and take it one day at a time, knowing that someday you will be able to cope and you will feel better. Don't push yourself to fit some ideal that you are supposed to be some healed person who can cope with everything. That only puts pressure on you and makes is more difficult to heal.

 

Kate

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