This is amazingly kind advice. Often I just have not had the energy to try to blow the fog away from somebody else's life , and in an effort honestly to be helpful and also kind. Besides , we all know what happens to the messenger who brings the bad news. These people at this OA group sit around the circle and tell each other how helpful praying to god has been but meanwhile with a couple of exceptions, they are fat and distressed .
They are saying they are in recovery but they are obviously not . They compliment each other and some guest speaker who also was fat and said she had been in recovery for 37 years now, ugh.
Everyone told her how wonderful it was to hear her speak, but she said nothing of importance nor significant as far as I could tell. These people, some of them, seem desperate, and lonely, and I hesitated to blow any body's cover as we say, or to rain on anybodies happy parade. Thinking, maybe they need this foolish group and could not tolerate a valid group therapy setting.
Also, I have to weigh the importance to me of just saving my mind and energy or trying to improve a group that seems happy with itself. My husband has gone with me, we did
not speak about it much until last time when I said to him that It seems like pure bull-shanga to me and he answered, emphatically, the same for him but he didn't want to say anything to me to discourage me.
I am going to practice and find some words that will say what I am thinking but not in an insulting way, maybe somebody will pick up on it, but most likely not. When I did say anything too truthful, or too honest, they pretended that I did not say anything at all. Talk about 'denial'. That is one of their favorite words by the way. I really can't stand this type of mentality , it is not for me. Too bad for me that this group has not been helpful.
So, I am going to go with your thoughts and take the advice but in a limited way so as not to cause distress to these lovely people if possible. Maybe I'll take the telephone numbers and call them on a personal basis so as not to expose anything to the group at large and cause discomfort or, also not to have anybody come at my throat as the messenger with the Bad News.