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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5402
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Kate, Now my boyfriend of nearly five years has told me

Customer Question

Kate,

Now my boyfriend of nearly five years has told me that we don't relate well and that he does not think I am in a place right now where I am ready to be in a relationship.

I want to die.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

It is a blow to your self esteem and support system to have your boyfriend choose to leave now, when you are going through so much. It is very natural to react with strong emotions. And you may very well feel deep grief at hearing this news.

 

Right now, more than ever, you need to use what supports you have to pull you through this time in your life.

 

Talk to your therapist about maybe seeing her more often- even if it's just temporary, you would benefit from the support.

 

Try the support groups we talked about before- you need people to talk to who have been through similar experiences.

 

It may also be a good time to get away for a while, if you can arrange it- since you have been through so much it may be wise just to leave for a short getaway. It would not only help you revitalize yourself, but you could get time to think through how to handle the recent events.

 

Be sure to get plenty of rest- it may be hard with all that is on your mind. But try your best to establish a routine before bed with warm milk, quiet time and soothing music.

 

Eat well- you may not feel like eating or you may eat too much in response to stress. But even if you make the effort to eat dairy, fruit, vegetable, and some protein, you will help your body cope with the stress it's under.

 

Add chocolate to your diet- chocolate is a natural mood booster. It can help with depression and give you temporary relief.

 

Read about grief and consider a support group- you have suffered a loss and you need time to allow yourself to grieve.

 

If you feel you cannot do any of these things and are having trouble coping at all, you may want to consider admission to the hospital for a brief stay. They can help you with support and medication until you feel more stable.

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5402
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
But I just can't think straight right now. Too much bad is happening all at once. I want to take pills to make the pain go away. I want to self-harm to feel some relief. I don't think I am strong enough to make it through another bad thing. Too much bad in too short a time.
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

It is important then that you consider going to the hospital for an evaluation. If you are feeling nothing will work and you are not in control of your behavior, that is a sign to you that you need help right now. Go to the ER right now. If you can get someone to go with you, that is even better. You should not go alone. If they will admit you on a 201, you can get treatment right away.

 

Keep in touch and let me know what happens. I will be thinking of you,

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5402
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Kate,

 

I cannot take a chance that my ex (my daughter's father and also my attacker) will find out about a hospital stay and then use that against me. There is such a stigma on that kind of thing.

 

There is a part of me that really would like someone else to take care of me right now. I feel so out of sorts and unable to help myself. My own therapist mentioned the hospital last Friday when I told her about my suicide plan.

 

This is not the way I want things to go. But I feel unable to get myself into a better head space. I just don't seem to care about anything right now.

 

Out of curiousity, what is a 201?

 

I don't even know who I could get to go with me if I wanted to go. I would probably have to go alone. This would make me feel even worse if that is possible. I wish I could stop crying. It's been going on for hours already. I feel so much pain for so many different reasons. I can't seem to stop crying. I just want to sleep to make it all go away.

 

Kathy

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

Kathy,

 

There is no way someone could find out if you admitted yourself on a 201. All of your records would be confidential by law. Anyone who breaks that confidentiality would face losing their license, so it is unlikely your ex would find out about your hospital stay.

 

A 201 is a voluntary commitment to a hospital. You agree to submit to an evaluation and if the doctor agrees you need admitted, you go in under your own power. By contrast, a 302 is when you are admitted against your will because someone feels you are a danger to yourself or others and you are not willing to admit yourself. A 302 is a legal document and usually involves the police and the legal system.

 

It is a good idea that you do get some rest in the next few days. If you are not willing to seek help at a hospital, then it is important you seek help from your therapist and others who support you. Have you contacted your therapist yet about seeing her more often? That may be a good first step. That way, you set up support while you really feel you need it.

 

Also, try to force yourself to follow at least some of the suggestions we talked about before, even if you don't feel like it. Even just going through the motions can help you feel a little better.

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5402
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thanks Kate.

 

I will seriously think over the hospital now that i know it is confidential. I just feel so impulsive and faithless.

 

I appreciate your support at this bad timee and I will try to help myself in some way. I think at this point, I would prefer to be helped by others. I feel so tired of pulling myself up. I wish things could end.

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

You're welcome, Kathy. Keep in mind that this will pass and you will feel better. You have recovered before and can do it again.

 

I'll be thinking of you,

Kate

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