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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5450
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I am struggling every day with myself to stop over-eating.

Resolved Question:

I am struggling every day with myself to stop over-eating. Is there a group I can join besides OA ?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

Although Overeater's Anonymous is the leader of the pack when it comes to overeating, there are many other support groups out there that can help you.

 

You mentioned trying everything out there available for you. That means you probably have tried Weight Watchers. They may not be an overeater's group per say, but the principles they teach about how to eat are valuable. Most people are able to follow the program, get adequate support and change their lifestyle rather than just going on a diet. They offer support for emotional eating as well.

 

I am not sure if you are looking for an online group, in person group or both. Here is a list of available groups for overeater's:

 

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/IntuitiveEating_Support/

 

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/EFTslim/

 

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/

 

http://www.livestrong.com/article/169840-overeaters-support-groups/

 

http://www.eatingdisordersanonymous.org/

 

You may also find success with addressing your emotions through therapy. Sometimes overeating has more to do with your feelings rather than just a desire for food. Getting to the root of why you overeat can deal with the problem once and for all. Therapy is also a better option than medications. While medications are great if you are feeling so bad you are having a hard time functioning in day to day, they are not good for overeating in general. The side effects of medication often outweigh the good they do.

 

If you want to consider therapy, you can ask your doctor for a referral. Or you can search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/.

 

You also may want to consider self help. While support is the best way to go, working on this issue at home helps as well. Here are some resources to help:

 

Eating the Moment: 141 Mindful Practices to Overcome Overeating One Meal at a Time by Pavel G. Somov

 

Overcoming Overeating: How to Break the Diet/Binge Cycle and Live a Healthier, More Satisfying Life by Jane R. Hirschmann and Carol H. Munter

 

Overcoming Overeating: It's Not What You Eat, It's What's Eating You! by Lisa Morrone

 

Try your local library for these books. Or Amazon.com may have them for you.

 

You may also want to consider hiring a life coach to help you. Having someone to partner with, talk to and to guide you can make a big difference in your search to find a way to cope with overeating. Here are some sites to get you started:

 

http://www.secretsofaweightlossmaster.com/weight-loss-coaching.html

 

http://www.getalifecoach.net/home.htm

 

http://www.ehow.com/how_2185636_life-coach.html

 

I hope this has helped you,
Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5450
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
You have given me much to look into and try to see if I missed anything - one issue right off, I have lousy insurance now so having therapy is out, expense if out.

Always in my life, I managed to be successful at dieting, health, and exercise on my own, once in a while going to a gym but I hated it.

I started gaining weight when I was only 15 and it has been an issue for me all my life. I am 73. For the most part I was able to stay thin, normal. At one point I joined a judo group, studied very much, became excellent at it, and was in excellent condition, That was right after the birth of my two babies. I have never been in such good condition either mentally or physically since those years. I could not continue martial arts .

You can imagine that I have tried to turn over every stone, including years of psycho-therapy. Those years were the most helpful and I was able to maintain decent weight at that time, also able to stay on diets, limit eating and be reasonable. But I smoked cigarettes and drank on occasion. When I stopped smoking, I totally lost ability to control my weight, back in 1990 give or take.

Every diet works if you stay on it, I recognize that I am not able to do that. The type of diet does not matter. My own preferences read like the model diet of the world for health and fitness and normal weight, 88 %. The hidden 12 % ( I just made those % up, it's more like 95 % perfect - 5 % the opposite), is when I can sit and graze on foods that I don't even like or find tasty, or eat a package of sugar palmette cookies in a day with green tea that don't even taste very good to me.

I keep wondering why in the name of sanity I do that , and I have no answer.

I do really seem helpless to limit these excesses. I am searching to find the 'why' for me, what the payoff is eating like this, ( As DR Phil McGraw would say ) when I hate and despise the results so much and myself in the process. Meanwhile, I am eating huge salads, shredded beats & cabbage, half a boneless chicken breast, never fried anything, and this because I love this food, not because it is low calorie or just ' healthy' for me.

A lot of crappy stuff has happened to me over the years but nothing compared to many people - now, I have a nice husband of 25 years, some great kids, some not so great, but no crisis disasters, nice dogs, a decent house, vehicles to drive me where I want to go, camping in the Keys summers, Disneyland in winters, we went on a couple of cruise ships finally last year. Yes of course there are some trauma areas, but nothing we aren't in the process of taking care of.

I would love to be able to go back into therapy, but it is out of the question for me, financially. Also finding some to trust and relate to is difficult. Mostly I'd find some young, inexperienced, kid doing pro-bono work for their degree, someone less intelligent, less educated, and less experienced than I am myself, and it was impossible to relate to them or take their advice seriously either.

It is impossible to have someone directing you when you have already been there and done that a dozen times or more.

There were warnings over my life of some kind of mis-fire, some flaw, in me. I'd gain 100 pounds, literally and actually, almost over night, a pound a day, then like I was waking up from a nightmare, I'd snap to attention and lose it almost as dramatically, with no problem. Liquid diets some days, going to 600 calories for a few days, always, always studying nutrition, taking vitamins supplements. Then came the non smoking clinic that worked 25 years ago and the weight gain to 330 pounds with no end in sight.

I had a gastro by pass, did well, had 5 plastic surgery operations, then fell in a cement ditch, destroyed my foot , didn't walk for almost 2 years and started to gain weight again. Now here I am, I have gained back about half of the weight I lost having the gastro by pass, 160 pounds, have gained back 65 of those pounds, even though now I am walking again ok. Not dancing but walking, swimming, and so on.

Yes I am angry but mostly afraid that I won't be able to stop this weight gaining thing. I keep yelling in my own ear, ''WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME ? HOW CAN I FIX IT ? '' But I have found no answer to give myself. I find OA just foolish, with nice but foolish, lonely people who are lying to themselves. Darn.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
In case you missed it, I am scared to death about gaining more weight. About not ever being able to get back to some kind of normal.
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

It sounds like you have been through everything to try to find some kind of balance regarding your weight loss. It is very understandable that you are frustrated and want answers.

 

It seems therapy did work for you at one time. There is alternative low cost therapy available through community mental health centers. And they tend to have a mix of therapists, many of whom have extensive experience given the wide range of clients they see on a daily basis. Try contacting the United Way for information about your local center. They also should have a listing of all the resources in your area regarding programs for weight loss.

 

Finding a normal for weight loss and maintenance may take some time. Like you said, you have been through a lot to try to find a way to cope with your ups and downs. If you would like to continue to work with me on Just Answer, I would be happy to try and help. Also, the resources listed in the answer may also help you find some better ways to cope with the weight gain and help you get back on track to where you want to be.

 

Kate

 

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5450
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I would love to be in touch with someone who knows better than to give me some canned answers or some new fad diet - Stillman, from the 70's, through every diet that ever came out, and like I said, they all work if you stay on them. I know because I did at some time or another. Now for no reason I can find, nothing works that once did for me. I even tried hypnosis to stop smoking and for dieting way years back, but that did not work for me, did not help. I was on 4 mgs of thyroid, Armour then Synthroid, a day for years and I stayed warm instead of always being cold, really cold feet, hands and nose, but went off it when I was in my 50's or earlier, can't remember exactly. The tests are always ''normal'' what ever that is , there is nothing normal about me.
I am ow trying to be that 'brutally honest' that they keep talking about, soul searching for some reason, like why I keep falling back into the same old pot hole that is in the same old place without seeing it coming. I aM honest and sincerely XXXXX XXXXX honestly and sincerely XXXXX XXXXX humbled by what is happening to me.
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

I would very much enjoy working with you. You can set the pace and decide what you need regarding frequency of your questions. Most people who work with experts pay as they go. Some do it per answer and some every few answers. It is completely up to you. I will use "information requests" as often as I can to help us talk, exchange information and get to know each other.

 

Once we have several posts, you may want to start new questions or threads. That helps keep the questions from loading too slowly and becoming too much for the Just Answer system to handle. If you start a new question, just put my name in front so when it's on the queue, the other experts know it's for me and not to answer it.

 

It may help to start at the beginning of your situation. That way, I can get some history to help me understand better what may be behind your weight issue. So far, you have given me a good idea of some of the highlights of the situation, which helps.

 

Let me start with a few questions. As a child, did you experience any type of abuse? What was the attitude about food in your family? Were your parents and/or siblings over weight? What was your family life like?

 

That information will help me get a better understanding of the origins of your issue with weight.

 

Kate

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Let me start with a few questions. As a child, did you experience any type of abuse? What was the attitude about food in your family? Were your parents and/or siblings over weight? What was your family life like?------

No abuse at all, the opposite,
I was an only child, mom was 18 when she married, only 19 when I was born, I can't think of a more wonderful childhood than I had, nor have I ever heard of anybody else coming even close. I can't say enough about how happy I was. The more I grew up, the more I came to realize how lucky I was in this world. I think our attitude about food was fine. My mom always tended to be heavy and often dieted with her friends as support. Dad was normal. My aunts on both sides though were heavy women. my grandmothers were normal. We adopted 3 little girls and they were all normal in their lives with weight. I had a normal weight until I was about 15 years old.

WE lived in a huge old fashioned house in a little city, my grandparents on one side with a beloved aunt only 10 years older than me and a genius - always helped me with my school work and art. Dad worked in a mill, a kind man, a loving man, simple and uncomplicated.

I thought I could always press -answer - so the expert could be compensated for their time, after each question, then go back and do a reply to stay on the same connection. NOw I know to put Kate in front of my question, hope it works. I think I am going nuts trying to figure this out and why I continue to sabotage my own life. Why I am so helpless to make it right.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Let me start with a few questions. As a child, did you experience any type of abuse? What was the attitude about food in your family? Were your parents and/or siblings over weight? What was your family life like?------

No abuse at all, the opposite,
I was an only child, mom was 18 when she married, only 19 when I was born, I can't think of a more wonderful childhood than I had, nor have I ever heard of anybody else coming even close. I can't say enough about how happy I was. The more I grew up, the more I came to realize how lucky I was in this world. I think our attitude about food was fine. My mom always tended to be heavy and often dieted with her friends as support. Dad was normal. My aunts on both sides though were heavy women. my grandmothers were normal. We adopted 3 little girls and they were all normal in their lives with weight. I had a normal weight until I was about 15 years old.

WE lived in a huge old fashioned house in a little city, my grandparents on one side with a beloved aunt only 10 years older than me and a genius - always helped me with my school work and art. Dad worked in a mill, a kind man, a loving man, simple and uncomplicated.

I thought I could always press -answer - so the expert could be compensated for their time, after each question, then go back and do a reply to stay on the same connection. NOw I know to put Kate in front of my question, hope it works. I think I am going nuts trying to figure this out and why I continue to sabotage my own life. Why I am so helpless to make it right.
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

It sounds like you had a great childhood! The reason I asked is that sometimes people struggle with their weight if they have been abused, especially if they were sexually abused. People who were sexually abused often struggle for their entire lifetime with weight issues. But that does not sound like the case for you.

 

It may not be a matter of you sabotaging your weight loss. It may be something underlying in your emotions, an unresolved issue or some other influence. Many people struggle in life with issues not knowing that they can be caused by something that happened to them that they dismissed as unimportant. Or something they minimized so they did not have to look at it too closely. That is why I started with your childhood so we could slowly work through possible causes for your struggle.

 

You also mentioned a past history of thyroid problems. Have you recently been screened for a recurrence? How about any other physical issues that might cause the weight issues? I'm sure this has come up and you have addressed it, but I want to be thorough so we don't miss anything.

 

Also, what happened when you were 15 that changed your weight? Was there an incident of any type, a change in your life or any other thing that stands out to you at that time?

 

You can press accept for each answer provided if you wish. You can then continue the thread for a while. But once the thread gets too long, the moderators will usually contact you to ask that you start a new thread so the system isn't compromised. Whenever I've worked on other long threads, it will take a while for them to load and eventually they will just sit and not load at all. I'm assuming it's because of the way the system is set up. I just wanted to give you a heads up so you know before hand.

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5450
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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